Monday, December 30, 2013
New Year
2013 will be ending in 2 days time. But my memories of you will never cease to exist. I constantly think of you but i guess it should be out of mind, out of sight for you. Constantly thinking of you, be it rain or shine, i miss you so. Would you like to go out with me for count down? I wanted to ask but i guess you will either be busy, slacking or going out with someone else. It's difficult to keep my feelings to myself but i'm glad i have you, blog M. I'm really worn out and torn... Broken beyond repair. Recently, some friends ask me and i said i won't be getting married. To stay single and worry about nothing else. I'm too scared already. How can i love someone else when i don't have a heart?
Gonna change my number, deactivate my facebook and start a fresh. If people doesn't care about you, then don't care about them too. I'll shut myself in my own world and never open up again. It's time to end this torment. Don't blame yourself because it was never your fault. It was me expecting too much and habouring too much hope on the impossible. I hope you will find a better someone for you and love you like i did. There could never be someone whom will love you more than me, but i'm sure you'll find someone you'll be happy with.
I'm glad to have come this far. Thank you all for walking this journey with me. I cherish every memory you gave and i hope, someday, when you look back, you will remember the good things about me. Even though this is goodbye, do know, this feelings will never change. This is goodbye.
Gonna change my number, deactivate my facebook and start a fresh. If people doesn't care about you, then don't care about them too. I'll shut myself in my own world and never open up again. It's time to end this torment. Don't blame yourself because it was never your fault. It was me expecting too much and habouring too much hope on the impossible. I hope you will find a better someone for you and love you like i did. There could never be someone whom will love you more than me, but i'm sure you'll find someone you'll be happy with.
I'm glad to have come this far. Thank you all for walking this journey with me. I cherish every memory you gave and i hope, someday, when you look back, you will remember the good things about me. Even though this is goodbye, do know, this feelings will never change. This is goodbye.
i know that i have loved you ... at 3:13 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
X'mas Eve
It's Christmas eve today. Dear blog M, are you at home or out celebrating with your love ones? Perhaps you are working. Wanted so much to wish you but it's for your best that i keep it within myself. Right? I hope you had fun today and every other day. Wish for your happiness and be blessed. Actually, i've prepared a gift for you. Usually your birthday gift is with Christmas together. I hope you'll like it when you receive it one day.
Actually, it is still hurting very much inside. Things i cannot share nor say. I wonder if i ever cross your mind these days. I hope you're happy. Hope you're happy M. Even if i speak about all these pain and how much i've done, would it make it easier? Or would it be the same? No matter what happens, remember i will always be there if you need me.
Merry Xmas...
Actually, it is still hurting very much inside. Things i cannot share nor say. I wonder if i ever cross your mind these days. I hope you're happy. Hope you're happy M. Even if i speak about all these pain and how much i've done, would it make it easier? Or would it be the same? No matter what happens, remember i will always be there if you need me.
Merry Xmas...
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:49 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Ghost Of Past
I took a nap and dreamt about you, the many you in my past. The many you that haunt me. The many you that shape my world into what it is now. It was pure darkness. Everything was a nightmare. Even in my dream, i guess i couldn't control how it would ends. I woke up and was trembling. The many you that left keep leaving in my dreams. The many you whom had once my pride and joy now gave my tears and sadness. Perhaps i have never been able to get over. I am weary and i have decided to be alone for the rest of my life. I am sure, you would be happier now.
Hidden deep inside, i know i don't have a heart anymore. I'm trying to live as a human for now. Goodbye world.
Hidden deep inside, i know i don't have a heart anymore. I'm trying to live as a human for now. Goodbye world.
i know that i have loved you ... at 3:48 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, December 21, 2013
18 months
Today, it was supposed to be the 18th month. I bet u won't even remember. It's okay. I'll take the memories and hid them away. I'll safeguard this feeling which you would never know. Hope you'll be happier day by day. I'll never forget you.
i know that i have loved you ... at 12:57 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Always
For now, I'll do my best to act in front of others to be fine. For always, I know the pain can never be heal. Perhaps I have never been healed properly. It seems like it was just yesterday that you were sick and I was there with you. You hated me for forcing you to take Panadol but I was happy I could help you somehow. Although it was just a few hours, it was fate that brought us together. I'm thankful. Even if tomorrow is barren of promises, I'm sure you would find yours someday, somewhere and someplace.
I've always been screaming inside. How could I tell you when I don't understand it myself. Were you scared when you found out about this darkness which has been with me for a long long time. Nights and nights with cold rain and loneliness. How would one understand how it would feels? The destiny of being use and be thrown away. Life goes on, it never ends. I begin to start living for people whom I can devote to. That has become the meaning of my life. There is something missing deep inside, would you make me complete?
For always and always, I've wanted to be strong. For always and always, I am standing right in front yet no one sees me. For always and always, my the emptiness creep inside me. For always and always, I'll be waiting...
I've always been screaming inside. How could I tell you when I don't understand it myself. Were you scared when you found out about this darkness which has been with me for a long long time. Nights and nights with cold rain and loneliness. How would one understand how it would feels? The destiny of being use and be thrown away. Life goes on, it never ends. I begin to start living for people whom I can devote to. That has become the meaning of my life. There is something missing deep inside, would you make me complete?
For always and always, I've wanted to be strong. For always and always, I am standing right in front yet no one sees me. For always and always, my the emptiness creep inside me. For always and always, I'll be waiting...
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:22 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Incomplete
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:45 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Say It Isn't So
Skies are dark its time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterday
Wipe the tears that hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow
How can i be smiling like before?
When baby you don't love me anymore
Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Ten to five at least we tried
We're still alive but hope has died
As they closed the door behind you
Whistle blows the turns of steel
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
As I wish I never found you
How can I be smiling when your gone?
Will I be strong enough to carry on?
Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Miles and miles to go
Before I can sing
Before i can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh darling, no
I got miles and miles to go
before anyone will hear me laugh again
Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterday
Wipe the tears that hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow
How can i be smiling like before?
When baby you don't love me anymore
Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Ten to five at least we tried
We're still alive but hope has died
As they closed the door behind you
Whistle blows the turns of steel
Shake the ground beneath the wheels
As I wish I never found you
How can I be smiling when your gone?
Will I be strong enough to carry on?
Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Miles and miles to go
Before I can sing
Before i can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh darling, no
I got miles and miles to go
before anyone will hear me laugh again
Say it isn't so
Tell me your not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
But this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you want to know, I don't want to let go
So say it isn't so
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:02 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Thinking Of You
How have you been? There are countless questions I want to ask but it seems futile because you don't give a damn anymore. I keep asking myself what did I not do or what did I do to end up here. I asked you yet your replies was none. I wanted to blame you for most part of being heartless and everything else but in the end, I will take everything on myself. Everything were my fault. I am never good enough, never showing you enough care and concern. I wasn't loving enough. I was not understanding and gave you too much freedom. It was all my fault. I haven't passed a day without thinking of you. It's bitter, it's painful but somehow I smiled. Even though I can no longer stand beside you, I know there is someone there for you. But that someone there will not be your last. I don't wish to see you hurting like I am now.
The best way for me to keep out of your life is to disappear. I can't find the method to be gone from this world. Perhaps I lack the courage to face pain but I know I am able to face death. In this vast universe, meeting you was fate and if it was fate that brought us together, then no matter how far we are apart or how long we are gone, we will still cherish one another. My facebook and phone number will no longer be usable soon. I will be totally gone from you. That was what you wished for, so I'll grant it to you. If you want my live, please take it too. I find it no difference to be alive but my soul is dead. I'm tired of the world and everything else.
Thinking of you has taken everything out of me. Where are you now?...
The best way for me to keep out of your life is to disappear. I can't find the method to be gone from this world. Perhaps I lack the courage to face pain but I know I am able to face death. In this vast universe, meeting you was fate and if it was fate that brought us together, then no matter how far we are apart or how long we are gone, we will still cherish one another. My facebook and phone number will no longer be usable soon. I will be totally gone from you. That was what you wished for, so I'll grant it to you. If you want my live, please take it too. I find it no difference to be alive but my soul is dead. I'm tired of the world and everything else.
Thinking of you has taken everything out of me. Where are you now?...
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:23 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Tears
A beautiful song from Windstuck movie. X-Japan
Where should I go? Away from you
Now I'm asking the stream of time that has gone away
In the too long night, I dreamed of setting out
Staring at a foreign sky, I held my loneliness
I cover wind of time with flowing tears
I feel your endless sighs
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
Loneliness your silent whisper
Fills a river of tears through the night
Memory you never let me cry, and you,
You never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But, I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone
Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
I cover wind of time with flowing tears
I change the endless sorrow into a blue rose
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
I cover wind of time with flowing tears
I feel your endless sighs
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
[Speech]
If you could have told me anything
You would have found what love is
If you would have told me what was on your mind
I would have shown you the way
Someday... I will be older than you
I've never thought beyond that time
I never imagined the pictures of that life
For now I will try to live for you
And for me...
I will try to live with love, with dreams, and forever with tears.
Where should I go? Away from you
Now I'm asking the stream of time that has gone away
In the too long night, I dreamed of setting out
Staring at a foreign sky, I held my loneliness
I cover wind of time with flowing tears
I feel your endless sighs
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
Loneliness your silent whisper
Fills a river of tears through the night
Memory you never let me cry, and you,
You never said good-bye
Sometimes our tears blinded the love
We lost our dreams along the way
But, I never thought you'd trade your soul to the fates
Never thought you'd leave me alone
Time through the rain has set me free
Sands of time will keep your memory
Love everlasting fades away
Alive within your beatless heart
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
I cover wind of time with flowing tears
I change the endless sorrow into a blue rose
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
I cover wind of time with flowing tears
I feel your endless sighs
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
Dry your tears with Love
[Speech]
If you could have told me anything
You would have found what love is
If you would have told me what was on your mind
I would have shown you the way
Someday... I will be older than you
I've never thought beyond that time
I never imagined the pictures of that life
For now I will try to live for you
And for me...
I will try to live with love, with dreams, and forever with tears.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:44 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
My Immortal
My Immortal, it is a really emotional song for me. I love this song. I really tired of being here in this world. All the hurt and pain can't seem to heal and it's just too real where time cannot erase them. Even when i'm asleep, it will come to haunt me. When you needed me, i was always there. I held your hands and promised to take care and love you and give you all of me but all that was returned was blades silting my throat, piercing my incomplete body. I have become heartless because everything in my world has been shattered. What's left of me to be sane is slowly drifting away. The thought of you haunts me and these memories i could never forget. I tried to tell myself so hard that you're gone. But i know you're still with me, deep inside of me. Even though we may never meet again, deep inside i could never forget everything we did and words or promises you made. No matter what happens, i know i've loved you and i hope you're happy.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held you hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held you hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:45 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
What Makes A Man
This isn't goodbye, even as I watch you leave, this isn't goodbye
I swear I won't cry, even as tears fill my eyes, I swear I won't cry
Any other girl, I'd let you walk away
Any other girl, I'm sure I'd be ok
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So I can get over you
What makes her so right?
Is it the sound of her laugh?
That look in her eyes
When do you decide?
She is the dream that you seek
That force in your life
When you apologize, no matter who was wrong
When you get on your knees if that would bring her home
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So that I can get over you
Other girls will come along, they always do
But what's the point when all I ever want is you, tell me
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know..... (let me know)
Girl you gotta let me know..... (wooo)
So I can get over you
I swear I won't cry, even as tears fill my eyes, I swear I won't cry
Any other girl, I'd let you walk away
Any other girl, I'm sure I'd be ok
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So I can get over you
What makes her so right?
Is it the sound of her laugh?
That look in her eyes
When do you decide?
She is the dream that you seek
That force in your life
When you apologize, no matter who was wrong
When you get on your knees if that would bring her home
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know
So that I can get over you
Other girls will come along, they always do
But what's the point when all I ever want is you, tell me
Tell me what makes a man
Wanna give you all his heart
Smile when you're around
And cry when you're apart
If you know what makes a man
Wanna love you the way I do
Girl you gotta let me know..... (let me know)
Girl you gotta let me know..... (wooo)
So I can get over you
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:34 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, December 09, 2013
New Year
New year is around the corner. How would you be celebrating? With your dearest? Me? I'll be fine alone, don't worry. That's what i tell everyone else including you. If what i say could make you happy, i wouldn't mind lying a thousand times. I'm sure you've found someone whom is able to give you warmth and love and so, my mission is complete. It's been a really long while since i show my vulnerable side to someone and now, it will be no more. It is finally time.
To be honest, i am leaving my job soon because i couldn't concentrate anymore. I've been trying my best but it seems my reason to succeed is long overdue. I will be deactivating my facebook after new year. It is time to keep and hold the darkness back within me. I'm sure you will be happier not to see me too. I'll be changing my number after new year. Don't intend to give anyone my number. I'll take a prepaid line for my work. Out of sight, out of mind. I will shut myself in. It has been a long long time. This is the 1st time and will forever be the last time. I will no longer linger any hope for the world. It is time for my departure silently.
For every word you said, my heart skipped. For every breathe i draw, i grew weary. My time is up and i will give you what is left of me. My blessings will forever be with you...
To be honest, i am leaving my job soon because i couldn't concentrate anymore. I've been trying my best but it seems my reason to succeed is long overdue. I will be deactivating my facebook after new year. It is time to keep and hold the darkness back within me. I'm sure you will be happier not to see me too. I'll be changing my number after new year. Don't intend to give anyone my number. I'll take a prepaid line for my work. Out of sight, out of mind. I will shut myself in. It has been a long long time. This is the 1st time and will forever be the last time. I will no longer linger any hope for the world. It is time for my departure silently.
For every word you said, my heart skipped. For every breathe i draw, i grew weary. My time is up and i will give you what is left of me. My blessings will forever be with you...
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:24 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, December 08, 2013
If I can just have you
You said you are leaving me because you love me,
Those words that were uttered through tears, I can’t believe them.
But because you meant everything to me,
I refrain from holding you back, so as not to be a burden to you.
Those words that were uttered through tears, I can’t believe them.
But because you meant everything to me,
I refrain from holding you back, so as not to be a burden to you.
If you are doing what’s best for me, who is filled with memories of you,
If this is for my sake, who is collapsing little by little,
If this is for my sake, who is collapsing little by little,
You should stay beside me, just as you are.
You can’t leave my side,
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
The times we laughed together,
The promises we made to each other,
I’ll remember them forever,
Think it through one more time,
You know what truly is best for me.
The promises we made to each other,
I’ll remember them forever,
Think it through one more time,
You know what truly is best for me.
Watch over me forever by my side,
Don’t leave me,
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
Don’t leave me,
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
If you are doing what’s best for me, who is filled with memories of you,
If you want to do what’s best for me, who is pathetically collapsing,
If you want to do what’s best for me, who is pathetically collapsing,
You should stay beside me, just as you are,
Don’t leave me.
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
Don’t leave me.
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
Watch over me forever by my side,
Don’t leave me,
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
Don’t leave me,
Even if I forget everything of this world, its ok,
If only I have you, if only I have you…
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:41 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, December 07, 2013
Blessing
I guess i am supposed to give you my blessing for finding someone you cherish. Even though i may no longer be with you, the feelings i have for you would not change. It hurts so much but i know i should wish you well and hope you can attain happiness. I know and i will. I sincerely wish you your smile and may you be happy. Even though i can no longer be the one by your side, i know someone else would love and treat you as good or maybe better than i had. I hope your story will be a happy ending. I love you and that's why i will do anything for you. Please, stay blessed.
I am not a noble person. It hurts so much yet i know what i must do. When i see you smile together with someone new, it might be bitter but it's sweet as well. I would no longer fall for anyone else. To be honest, i've asked for resignation criteria for my job. I'm planning to deactivate my facebook and to change my handphone number and not give anyone. I will shut myself back into the world i am from. As long as i do not appear in front of you, i'm sure you would be happier.
Sometimes, i do not understand myself. I lied to myself often. But i knew i truly cared for you and will keep caring for you always. Happiness are not simply attainable by wishing but by working towards it. You're a strong girl and you will grow up to be a fine lady. Stay safe & happy. I wish i wasn't all bad to you for all you could remember. Remember my smile and i will never forget you. You may not be my first, but you will be my last. I am glad it was you. If we have met a few years later, maybe things would not have turn out this way. Still, i'll continue smiling and protect those feelings i have for you. Never forget we have weng weng & dan dan. May you be always happy & loved.
Take care...
I am not a noble person. It hurts so much yet i know what i must do. When i see you smile together with someone new, it might be bitter but it's sweet as well. I would no longer fall for anyone else. To be honest, i've asked for resignation criteria for my job. I'm planning to deactivate my facebook and to change my handphone number and not give anyone. I will shut myself back into the world i am from. As long as i do not appear in front of you, i'm sure you would be happier.
Sometimes, i do not understand myself. I lied to myself often. But i knew i truly cared for you and will keep caring for you always. Happiness are not simply attainable by wishing but by working towards it. You're a strong girl and you will grow up to be a fine lady. Stay safe & happy. I wish i wasn't all bad to you for all you could remember. Remember my smile and i will never forget you. You may not be my first, but you will be my last. I am glad it was you. If we have met a few years later, maybe things would not have turn out this way. Still, i'll continue smiling and protect those feelings i have for you. Never forget we have weng weng & dan dan. May you be always happy & loved.
Take care...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:57 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Pretense
Hello Blog M! How did your birthday celebration went? You seemed happy to spend time with your new him! There you were, saying studies, preparation but it was all lies. When you were overseas, you kept messaging him. I knew it was all a pretense. After all, all girls are unfaithful. I saw your flirtatious messages with him. I pretended not to know. I felt insecure but i kept it. I've finally lay down to waste. You broken promises, your heartlessness, i will never forget for as long as i lived. But i guess it won't be long? It's time for the game to start, the blood to start flowing once again. You cheated my feelings and you were unfaithful. Your lies, i would never forget. I don't wish to remember you. I regretted, accepting you... How naive was i when i did. I thought i could give you happiness but i didn't thought about myself.
Actually, from the 2nd or 3rd time i was at your place, i hid something outside. It was meant to be a time capsule. Silly me. A time capsule in this era. I didn't know how to be a good partner. I'm foolishly stupid actually. I'm already prepared to lose you even though we just started. During the 1st time you cheated on me, i was already certain. Maybe cheated is a strong word but i can't seem to find a replacement. Right now, i know what i must do. I must rid you from inside me. I'll deactivate my facebook. I'll change my number. Silly me, despite what i said, i knew i would still love you and accept you in every way you are. Even if you can't speak or turn grey, i know i would want to be the one for you...
Someday, i hope you will find the message and the little present i've prepared for you. Maybe you would never find it. Dear M, be happy always. May fate guide you and may you recover the time capsule when you're 21. If everything i did was wrong, if every word i said pissed you off, it was because i am no longer around. I love you my blog M
Actually, from the 2nd or 3rd time i was at your place, i hid something outside. It was meant to be a time capsule. Silly me. A time capsule in this era. I didn't know how to be a good partner. I'm foolishly stupid actually. I'm already prepared to lose you even though we just started. During the 1st time you cheated on me, i was already certain. Maybe cheated is a strong word but i can't seem to find a replacement. Right now, i know what i must do. I must rid you from inside me. I'll deactivate my facebook. I'll change my number. Silly me, despite what i said, i knew i would still love you and accept you in every way you are. Even if you can't speak or turn grey, i know i would want to be the one for you...
Someday, i hope you will find the message and the little present i've prepared for you. Maybe you would never find it. Dear M, be happy always. May fate guide you and may you recover the time capsule when you're 21. If everything i did was wrong, if every word i said pissed you off, it was because i am no longer around. I love you my blog M
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:01 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, December 05, 2013
Leave Me
Leave me
For the heavens,
Do not give us their blessing,
Love will only hurt your fragile heart…it will only give it illness.
There’s something lacking in me, and so I cannot look towards the same future
Also, I am not good enough to walk beside you.
I won’t be able to hold him back with declarations of love,
I’ll open my blue wings so I can fly high,
So wherever his eyes may fall, I will be standing there.
Leave me, leave me
Please leave.
Leave me, leave me
It’s ok.
Leave me
For people will try to stop us,
For this love will only go against everything around him.
There’s something lacking in me, and so I cannot look towards the same future
Also, I am not good enough to walk beside you.
Now, as love as my reason, I send him away
So he can fly towards a bigger world
Wherever his breath may linger, I’ll be standing there
Leave me, leave me
Please leave.
So that he will open his blue wings and fly higher,
So that he will leave me for that bigger world,
So wherever his eyes my fall, I’ll be standing there
Leave me, leave me, It’s ok.
Leave me, leave me, I love you.
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:56 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
弃权
This is one of my favorite song with very meaningful lyrics. It's not because of giving up. It's because it tells the feeling of how i feel.
很疲倦
在留与离开之间周旋
慌到没有知觉
你只想爱我几天几夜
我天真以为
能几年几月
掉进一个谎言
手不肯放
就会整个沦陷
* You said you will always love me but it turns out you were uncertain. You wanted a few days or months together but i was foolish. I thought it would be years till forever. Even if it was a trap, i gladly fell in because it was you.
很危险
怎么能爱得那么卑微
等着被你忽略
害怕得眼泪流一整夜
但你的安慰
却只给一点
应该怎么摆脱
爱情的包围
让我往后退
* Loving you, i put down my pride and i threw away what was left. I tried my best. I accept the flaws and i see every good as a gem and every bad as a jewel to polish to make it shine. Al though you made me worried and insecure, i stood by you. You neglected me and took me for granted for so many nights, i was drown in tears, scared but i held on. You never say a word and i was always smiling. I wished for those few words from you but it never came. Darkness enshrouded me.
对你的热情
你的虚伪
再也不眷恋
我试着判断试着习惯
被爱的盲点
完全弃权
不让你分配快乐伤悲
放弃为你
再生别用等待来熬夜
放弃配合你
要个情节做个心虚的演员
爱你的泪
明天会不见
春天应该不远
* You are always someone i look up to. You meant more than anything to me. Because of a word from you, you were able to change the direction of my life, my world. Nobody said it was going to be easy loving you but i tried. Even if tomorrow is barren of promises, i will still wait for you. My love will never change.
很危险
怎么能爱得那么卑微
等着被你忽略
害怕得眼泪流一整夜
但你的安慰
却只给一点
应该怎么摆脱
爱情的包围
让我往后退
对你的热情
你的虚伪
再也不眷恋
我试着判断试着习惯
被爱的盲点
完全弃权
不让你分配快乐伤悲
放弃为你
再生别用等待来熬夜
放弃配合你
要个情节做个心虚的演员
爱你的泪
明天会不见
春天应该不远
爱上你对不对
不再奢望
哪天会又见
爱你时常蒙眼
眼看着你
出去游戏人间
只任自己
埋怨
后悔
* It does not matter whether it was right or wrong of us to love. Even though i know we will never meet nor see each other again, even you may be with someone else, i would not blame you. It was only my fault because i couldn't be what you've envisioned me to be. I am sorry.
对你的热情
你的虚伪
再也不眷恋
我试着判断试着习惯
被爱的盲点
完全弃权
不让你分配快乐伤悲
放弃为你
再生别用等待来熬夜
放弃配合你
要个情节做个心虚的演员
爱你的泪
明天会不见
春天应该不远
I sincerely hope you will always be happy. For all the things i could not do, please forgive me. For all the memorable time and happiness i had given, i hope you would hold them dear. I may no longer be with you, but i've always wanted to tell you, i will always support your every decision and i will always be here for you, just look around. I love you and someday when you can remember my feelings, don't hesitate, look for me. I have left something dear for you even though i may no longer be around anymore.
很疲倦
在留与离开之间周旋
慌到没有知觉
你只想爱我几天几夜
我天真以为
能几年几月
掉进一个谎言
手不肯放
就会整个沦陷
* You said you will always love me but it turns out you were uncertain. You wanted a few days or months together but i was foolish. I thought it would be years till forever. Even if it was a trap, i gladly fell in because it was you.
很危险
怎么能爱得那么卑微
等着被你忽略
害怕得眼泪流一整夜
但你的安慰
却只给一点
应该怎么摆脱
爱情的包围
让我往后退
* Loving you, i put down my pride and i threw away what was left. I tried my best. I accept the flaws and i see every good as a gem and every bad as a jewel to polish to make it shine. Al though you made me worried and insecure, i stood by you. You neglected me and took me for granted for so many nights, i was drown in tears, scared but i held on. You never say a word and i was always smiling. I wished for those few words from you but it never came. Darkness enshrouded me.
对你的热情
你的虚伪
再也不眷恋
我试着判断试着习惯
被爱的盲点
完全弃权
不让你分配快乐伤悲
放弃为你
再生别用等待来熬夜
放弃配合你
要个情节做个心虚的演员
爱你的泪
明天会不见
春天应该不远
* You are always someone i look up to. You meant more than anything to me. Because of a word from you, you were able to change the direction of my life, my world. Nobody said it was going to be easy loving you but i tried. Even if tomorrow is barren of promises, i will still wait for you. My love will never change.
很危险
怎么能爱得那么卑微
等着被你忽略
害怕得眼泪流一整夜
但你的安慰
却只给一点
应该怎么摆脱
爱情的包围
让我往后退
对你的热情
你的虚伪
再也不眷恋
我试着判断试着习惯
被爱的盲点
完全弃权
不让你分配快乐伤悲
放弃为你
再生别用等待来熬夜
放弃配合你
要个情节做个心虚的演员
爱你的泪
明天会不见
春天应该不远
爱上你对不对
不再奢望
哪天会又见
爱你时常蒙眼
眼看着你
出去游戏人间
只任自己
埋怨
后悔
* It does not matter whether it was right or wrong of us to love. Even though i know we will never meet nor see each other again, even you may be with someone else, i would not blame you. It was only my fault because i couldn't be what you've envisioned me to be. I am sorry.
对你的热情
你的虚伪
再也不眷恋
我试着判断试着习惯
被爱的盲点
完全弃权
不让你分配快乐伤悲
放弃为你
再生别用等待来熬夜
放弃配合你
要个情节做个心虚的演员
爱你的泪
明天会不见
春天应该不远
I sincerely hope you will always be happy. For all the things i could not do, please forgive me. For all the memorable time and happiness i had given, i hope you would hold them dear. I may no longer be with you, but i've always wanted to tell you, i will always support your every decision and i will always be here for you, just look around. I love you and someday when you can remember my feelings, don't hesitate, look for me. I have left something dear for you even though i may no longer be around anymore.
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:58 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
