Sunday, May 29, 2011
Need you now
Picture perfect memories
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby, I need you now
Scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause
I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
Another shot of whiskey
Can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping
In the way you did before
And I wonder if I
Ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after one
I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn't call
But I've lost all control
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
Whoa, whoa
Guess I'd rather hurt
Than feel nothing at all
It's a quarter after one
I'm all alone
And I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call
But I'm a little drunk
And I need you now
And I don't know how
I can do without
I just need you now
I just need you now
Oh baby, I need you now
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:57 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
My Dearest
It would be nice if we could put away and throw out
everything except what really mattered, but
reality is just cruel.
In such times,
I see you laughing
whenever I close my eyes.
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
People are all sad, so
they go and forget, but--
For that which I should love,
For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got hurt, didn't we?
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got there in the end.
everything except what really mattered, but
reality is just cruel.
In such times,
I see you laughing
whenever I close my eyes.
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
People are all sad, so
they go and forget, but--
For that which I should love,
For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got hurt, didn't we?
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got there in the end.
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:53 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Waiting
Waiting, that's a thing we do more than half of our life in the time we have. Waiting for meals, waiting for things to happen, waiting for another day to come and another day to pass. Waiting for miracles and waiting to see live and death. Waiting for someone, or rather some place or even certain feelings. I've been waiting all my life. That's why i don't want anyone to wait anymore.
It's a torture to wait. It's really hurts to wait and it drains you. I'm tired and i don't want others to feel this way too. I wish everyone the best always. That's why i know i can't make people wait. I'll hide all i feel inside. With eternal love you'll have to bear it's sufferings. I'm sorry...
It's a torture to wait. It's really hurts to wait and it drains you. I'm tired and i don't want others to feel this way too. I wish everyone the best always. That's why i know i can't make people wait. I'll hide all i feel inside. With eternal love you'll have to bear it's sufferings. I'm sorry...
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:08 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Another You
So many times I was alone I couldn't sleep
You left me drowning in the tears of memory
And ever since you've gone, I found it hard to breathe
Cause there was so much that your heart just couldn't see
A thousand wasted dreams rolling off my eyes
But time's been healing me and I say goodbye
Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you
Could you imagine someone else is by my side
I've been afraid he couldn't keep myself from falling
My heart was always searching for a place to hide
Could not await the dawn to bring another day
Your not the only one so hear me when I say
The thoughts of you that just fade away
Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you
Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes
You're still apart of my life
But I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you
I'll find another you
You left me drowning in the tears of memory
And ever since you've gone, I found it hard to breathe
Cause there was so much that your heart just couldn't see
A thousand wasted dreams rolling off my eyes
But time's been healing me and I say goodbye
Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you
Could you imagine someone else is by my side
I've been afraid he couldn't keep myself from falling
My heart was always searching for a place to hide
Could not await the dawn to bring another day
Your not the only one so hear me when I say
The thoughts of you that just fade away
Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you
Sometimes I see you when I close my eyes
You're still apart of my life
But I can breathe again, dream again
I'll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
Cause someone makes me whole again for sure
I'll find another you
I'll find another you
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:42 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, May 22, 2011
My Emotions
It's over and done
but the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to
instead of me tonight?
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
lost in the song
but if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
I'm there at your side,
I'm part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've got to find your shining star
In the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
lost in the song
but if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
but the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to
instead of me tonight?
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
lost in the song
but if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
I'm there at your side,
I'm part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've got to find your shining star
In the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
lost in the song
but if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:22 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Without you
No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore
Well I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow show
Yes it shows
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore
Well I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way
The story goes
You always smile but in your eyes
Your sorrow show
Yes it shows
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:22 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
What hurts the most
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:10 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, May 20, 2011
From me
So there you are
Again you're circling all around
If you could only touch me now
Strangers from the past
Don't hesitate
Now we're standing face to face
If heaven is the only place
Would you take my hand'
Just tell me What Do You Want From Me
This is love in the first degree
Tell me why, everytime I feel your eyes all over me
Tell me what do you want from me
Are you mad enough to see
That it's hard to cross the line
Come on now, set me free
What do you want from me
Get closer now
Softly whisper in my ear
Please take me away from here
Away from all my tears
It's not too late
Now we're standing face to face
And heaven is the only place
Will you understand'
Just tell me what do you want from me
This is love in the first degree
Tell me why, everytime I feel your eyes all over me
Tell me what do you want from me
Are you mad enough to see
That it's hard to cross the line
Come on now, set me free
And I know, If you give me this feeling
I'll be there to hold you tight oooh
'Cause I'd show, your love is a hero
We will run, run out of sight
Again you're circling all around
If you could only touch me now
Strangers from the past
Don't hesitate
Now we're standing face to face
If heaven is the only place
Would you take my hand'
Just tell me What Do You Want From Me
This is love in the first degree
Tell me why, everytime I feel your eyes all over me
Tell me what do you want from me
Are you mad enough to see
That it's hard to cross the line
Come on now, set me free
What do you want from me
Get closer now
Softly whisper in my ear
Please take me away from here
Away from all my tears
It's not too late
Now we're standing face to face
And heaven is the only place
Will you understand'
Just tell me what do you want from me
This is love in the first degree
Tell me why, everytime I feel your eyes all over me
Tell me what do you want from me
Are you mad enough to see
That it's hard to cross the line
Come on now, set me free
And I know, If you give me this feeling
I'll be there to hold you tight oooh
'Cause I'd show, your love is a hero
We will run, run out of sight
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:30 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Happier?
It ended abruptly. Are you happier now? You've told me you'll be happier with him. He's the one for you. In the end, it wasn't even 2 months. I blamed myself for letting you go but all i could was to watch. His kisses, his hugs and the time you spent with him every night when we were still together, i could never forget them. But no matter what happened and how it is, i tried my best and did what was good for you. And all my efforts went down the drain. Although i know he's not the one for you. Although i feel that he's not a good guy, still i tried not to tell you because you love him. I hid what i could and encouraged you. I put on a smiley face and looked into your eyes, and all i saw was guilt. You could no longer face me directly. I've endured your countless hurtful comments when we were together and thousand blades piercing my heart each time you were with him all because u said you'll be happier with him.
While loving him, you've hurt a guy who truly love you for someone who doesn't truly do. It's a cycle and eventually, the one who will be the most painful is not you but the one who cared for the most. The one who is willing to lay down his pride and put on a fake smile giving you his blessings, praying, encouraging and being there for you. You said you yearn for true love. Define it. A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush. It is always when we've lost the bird in hand that we realize it's significance and value.
Even if i know it will hurt so badly that i might take my live any moment, i will still find you and love you again. It's a promise of eternity and a belief of more than fate. Fate bring you to it, and the rest is up to us to shape our destiny. Everyday i look at what you post on facebook and i wonder, how much more time do i have to care for you. I can't tell you anything anymore. I'll watch over you from darkness and pray someday i may find relief in seeing you smile again.
My birthday wishes included you and everyone around me. I hope it comes true and everyone can be happy. Believe in yourself, reach down inside and have faith in what you do.. I know you'll make it through..
While loving him, you've hurt a guy who truly love you for someone who doesn't truly do. It's a cycle and eventually, the one who will be the most painful is not you but the one who cared for the most. The one who is willing to lay down his pride and put on a fake smile giving you his blessings, praying, encouraging and being there for you. You said you yearn for true love. Define it. A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush. It is always when we've lost the bird in hand that we realize it's significance and value.
Even if i know it will hurt so badly that i might take my live any moment, i will still find you and love you again. It's a promise of eternity and a belief of more than fate. Fate bring you to it, and the rest is up to us to shape our destiny. Everyday i look at what you post on facebook and i wonder, how much more time do i have to care for you. I can't tell you anything anymore. I'll watch over you from darkness and pray someday i may find relief in seeing you smile again.
My birthday wishes included you and everyone around me. I hope it comes true and everyone can be happy. Believe in yourself, reach down inside and have faith in what you do.. I know you'll make it through..
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:05 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Together as *friends our memories
You had on the same smile
Even though the years have piled upon us
Impatient, we ignore the scenery passing by
Throw away your useless pride
Show kindness to the world
I gotta say
Even if we put on a courageous facade
We cannot live alone
The promise you made that day
Remains deep within my heart Even now
Partings and meetings
Finding light walking down new roads
Since the day we were born
This repetition has linked us together
When did you and I
Acquire such differing futures?
I gotta say
Even if we're far apart and never meet again
There is a strong bond between us
"Let my dreams come true"
I pray from the bottom of my heart
We're friends forever
Let's pledge to meet again
Swear on it
We're going to walk forward
Toward an unseen destination
Even if we're lost
We'll continue
No matter what
Amid the changing seasons
And the flow of time
Familiar melodies
Even when we grow old
They won't fade away
Our precious memories
I gotta say
Even if we put on a courageous facade
We cannot live alone
The promise you made that day
Remains deep within my heart
As life goes on...
Because we mustn't forget Yeah
Don't let it go...
This wide world or the people you hold dear
Even though the years have piled upon us
Impatient, we ignore the scenery passing by
Throw away your useless pride
Show kindness to the world
I gotta say
Even if we put on a courageous facade
We cannot live alone
The promise you made that day
Remains deep within my heart Even now
Partings and meetings
Finding light walking down new roads
Since the day we were born
This repetition has linked us together
When did you and I
Acquire such differing futures?
I gotta say
Even if we're far apart and never meet again
There is a strong bond between us
"Let my dreams come true"
I pray from the bottom of my heart
We're friends forever
Let's pledge to meet again
Swear on it
We're going to walk forward
Toward an unseen destination
Even if we're lost
We'll continue
No matter what
Amid the changing seasons
And the flow of time
Familiar melodies
Even when we grow old
They won't fade away
Our precious memories
I gotta say
Even if we put on a courageous facade
We cannot live alone
The promise you made that day
Remains deep within my heart
As life goes on...
Because we mustn't forget Yeah
Don't let it go...
This wide world or the people you hold dear
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:46 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Changing...
Like how the heart-shaped clouds change its form
Will I be changin' too someday?
I remain standing in the midst of parting way
And the shadow gently fades away
Like how the sun is always there
Even when it has sunk down
It's a dream I can't let go
A thousand destinies
I'll show you I can change my fate
Now what can I do with these hands of mine?
Reach out from inside
When you starts to lose sight of your precious things
How many words are out there to save you?
Because the irreplaceable treasure raises me,
Supports me and gives me a strong heart
Fantasies starts to flow
Certainty is definitely here
I can show you my faith is stronger than anybody else
There's faith in my soul
Just like diamond being polished to shine
The more it hurt, the brighter it starts to glisten
And now it's changin' all the more
A thousand destinies
I'll show you I can change my fate
Now what can I do with these hands of mine?
Fantasies starts to flow
Certainty is definitely here
I can show you my faith is stronger than anybody else
Reach out from inside
Will I be changin' too someday?
I remain standing in the midst of parting way
And the shadow gently fades away
Like how the sun is always there
Even when it has sunk down
It's a dream I can't let go
A thousand destinies
I'll show you I can change my fate
Now what can I do with these hands of mine?
Reach out from inside
When you starts to lose sight of your precious things
How many words are out there to save you?
Because the irreplaceable treasure raises me,
Supports me and gives me a strong heart
Fantasies starts to flow
Certainty is definitely here
I can show you my faith is stronger than anybody else
There's faith in my soul
Just like diamond being polished to shine
The more it hurt, the brighter it starts to glisten
And now it's changin' all the more
A thousand destinies
I'll show you I can change my fate
Now what can I do with these hands of mine?
Fantasies starts to flow
Certainty is definitely here
I can show you my faith is stronger than anybody else
Reach out from inside
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:43 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Interview
Had a psychological test this morning. It's one of the criteria for deployment. Well, i almost flunk it. Well, i've tried my best to do it as "properly" as possible. In the end i was interviewed. They told me i might require counseling. Well, yes i am suicidal and always thinking of death and how to end my life. Could it be you that i'm feeling this way ever stronger day by day. But come to think of it, i'm really silly and laughable.
I knew i will be going. That's why i decided to let her go in the 1st place yet i can't. I can't be there for her when i'm there. Who will be there for her to complain to? Who will take care of her? Who will care for her and love her when i'm not around? I might be going to US next year too. When i'm gone, how will you be? I'm worried and sad and living in fear. I would send you air ticket for you to fly over if you're able to. But i guess, it's okay. You've got your studies don't you. Well, it doesn't matter anymore now that you've left and found someone new. I hope you can tell me with your heart that he is everything good and everything better and you're much happier with him. There is nothing i can do for you at all. I can't see the person i love suffers.
When i close my eyes it's you i see. Everything i know you make me believe.
I'm not alone... The ghost of you will always be with me.
I knew i will be going. That's why i decided to let her go in the 1st place yet i can't. I can't be there for her when i'm there. Who will be there for her to complain to? Who will take care of her? Who will care for her and love her when i'm not around? I might be going to US next year too. When i'm gone, how will you be? I'm worried and sad and living in fear. I would send you air ticket for you to fly over if you're able to. But i guess, it's okay. You've got your studies don't you. Well, it doesn't matter anymore now that you've left and found someone new. I hope you can tell me with your heart that he is everything good and everything better and you're much happier with him. There is nothing i can do for you at all. I can't see the person i love suffers.
When i close my eyes it's you i see. Everything i know you make me believe.
I'm not alone... The ghost of you will always be with me.
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:32 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
This I Swear
You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you
I may not say it half as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
So whenever you get weary
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
Ohh we'll get there
This I swear
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
I'm wondering how I ever got by
Without you in my life to guide me
Where ever I go the one thing that's true
Is everything I do I do for you
I may not say it half as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
So whenever you get weary
Just reach out for me
I'll never let you down my love
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
Ohh we'll get there
This I swear
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:30 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Song For Me
Tell me why the ocean is blue,
Tell me why the snow falls.
Many many places i've seen
They are changing, everyday.
When the sun rise, the moon falls
When the wind blows, it echoes.
Fading memories i kept within
Seal in my heart everyday
(Chours)
(Give me a reason to believe in
Take me to the promise you told me
Let me rest my broken soul in your arms
Even if you're just a hallucination.
Emotions are nothing but memories
Your love for me are empty illusions
Till the end i'll hold you tight
Even if you're just a hallucination)
As my tears falls down in red
I'm getting better in time
Many many people i've seen
They are changing, everyday
I'll be waiting, everyday
I'll believe in your miriacles
Broken my heart, i kept within
Fake with my smile everyday
(Chours)
I'll be waiting forever
Lost in the fate of time
Till the end...
Some random lyrics i thought of. A bit crude. May need editing someday. Hope to gain some feedback someday with a music...
Tell me why the snow falls.
Many many places i've seen
They are changing, everyday.
When the sun rise, the moon falls
When the wind blows, it echoes.
Fading memories i kept within
Seal in my heart everyday
(Chours)
(Give me a reason to believe in
Take me to the promise you told me
Let me rest my broken soul in your arms
Even if you're just a hallucination.
Emotions are nothing but memories
Your love for me are empty illusions
Till the end i'll hold you tight
Even if you're just a hallucination)
As my tears falls down in red
I'm getting better in time
Many many people i've seen
They are changing, everyday
I'll be waiting, everyday
I'll believe in your miriacles
Broken my heart, i kept within
Fake with my smile everyday
(Chours)
I'll be waiting forever
Lost in the fate of time
Till the end...
Some random lyrics i thought of. A bit crude. May need editing someday. Hope to gain some feedback someday with a music...
i know that i have loved you ... at 1:20 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Dream
Been really depressed recently. Or rather, have i even be happier before? Well, i don't know. What's happiness? Can it be felt? Can we see it? Maybe we can eat it? I wonder i wonder... I'm on duty now. Too bored maybe? Haha! Had a dream yesterday and it was about her. I can't remember fully what was it about but i know in the dream, we were both smiling. She was happy. So why am i even dreaming? I've lost every right to dream. I'm tired and i don't want to be sobber. If she was smiling in the dreams, does it mean that what i've told her and the method i used was correct even though it hurts her? Or does she even feel a thing and i'm just hurting myself? Why was she smiling in my dream? If this is what i wish for, why wouldn't it happen in real life? My feet and hands are peeling. I wonder why. I'm random and confuse. Have i lost myself? Or am i just pretending to be so i can shut myself outta the world? I cursed her but... It'll end by all means when i take my live. I promised myself that. People told me to show her that i'm happier and can be happy even without her. I'm trying, perhaps too hard till it's fake. I wish i could be lost in the dream and be sleeping eternally. I won't attend her funeral because she'll be attending mine. :D Funny? Haha!
What is that true love you're yearning for when you don't even know what is it about? What is it that you can't see when it is just around you. Perhaps, like you've always said, leave it to fate... Believing love will get you home someday, somehow and somewhere... In my dreams...
What is that true love you're yearning for when you don't even know what is it about? What is it that you can't see when it is just around you. Perhaps, like you've always said, leave it to fate... Believing love will get you home someday, somehow and somewhere... In my dreams...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:55 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Suicidal Scale
1. Wish to live - Weak (1)
2. Wish to die - moderate to strong (2)
3. Reasons for living/dying - for dying outweigh for living (2)
4. Desire to make active suicide attempt - moderate to strong (2)
5. Passive suicidal desire - would avoid steps necessary to save or maintain life (2)
6. Duration of suicide ideation/ wish - continuous (chronic) or almost continuous (2)
7. Frequency of suicide ideation - persistent or continuous (2)
8. Attitude toward ideation/wish - accepting (2)
9. Control over suicidal action/ acting-out wish - unsure of control (1)
10. Deterrents to active attempt - some concern about deterrents (1)
11. Reason for contemplated attempt - escape surcease solve problems (2)
12. Method: specificity or planning of contemplated attempt - considered but details not worked out (1)
13. Method: availability or opportunity for contemplated attempt - future opportunity or availability of method anticipated (2)
14. Sense of "capability" to carry out attempt - unsure of courage or competence (1)
15. Expectancy/anticipation of actual attempt - yes (1)
16. Actual preparation for contemplated attempt - partial (1)
17. Suicide note - completed (2)
18. Final acts in anticipation of death - made definite plans or completed arrangements (2)
19. Deception or concealment of contemplated suicide - held back on revealing (1)
The total score for the 19 items is calculated.
Minimum score = 0
Maximum score = 38
Higher scores indicate greater suicidal ideation
My score 30/38
2. Wish to die - moderate to strong (2)
3. Reasons for living/dying - for dying outweigh for living (2)
4. Desire to make active suicide attempt - moderate to strong (2)
5. Passive suicidal desire - would avoid steps necessary to save or maintain life (2)
6. Duration of suicide ideation/ wish - continuous (chronic) or almost continuous (2)
7. Frequency of suicide ideation - persistent or continuous (2)
8. Attitude toward ideation/wish - accepting (2)
9. Control over suicidal action/ acting-out wish - unsure of control (1)
10. Deterrents to active attempt - some concern about deterrents (1)
11. Reason for contemplated attempt - escape surcease solve problems (2)
12. Method: specificity or planning of contemplated attempt - considered but details not worked out (1)
13. Method: availability or opportunity for contemplated attempt - future opportunity or availability of method anticipated (2)
14. Sense of "capability" to carry out attempt - unsure of courage or competence (1)
15. Expectancy/anticipation of actual attempt - yes (1)
16. Actual preparation for contemplated attempt - partial (1)
17. Suicide note - completed (2)
18. Final acts in anticipation of death - made definite plans or completed arrangements (2)
19. Deception or concealment of contemplated suicide - held back on revealing (1)
The total score for the 19 items is calculated.
Minimum score = 0
Maximum score = 38
Higher scores indicate greater suicidal ideation
My score 30/38
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:06 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, May 16, 2011
Love the way you lie
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire
Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:20 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
My Love Will Get You Home
If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:23 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Million Tears
I wanna know where you belong,
I wanna know why I sing this song.
I try to show how much I feel,
is that a dream or is it real?'
I never look where you belong,
until I'm gonna sing my song.
Is it a lie or is it true?
So many tears I've cried for you.
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
A Million tears that i have cried,
I wish you where right by my side.
I try to show how much I care,
believe in me I will be there.
I never knew where you belong,
whenever you just hear my song.
Is it a lie or is it true?
So many tears I've cried for you.
Oh ho, oh ho, a million tears for you,
Oh ho, oh ho, a million tears for you
I wanna know why I sing this song.
I try to show how much I feel,
is that a dream or is it real?'
I never look where you belong,
until I'm gonna sing my song.
Is it a lie or is it true?
So many tears I've cried for you.
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
Oh ho oh ho a million tears for you
A Million tears that i have cried,
I wish you where right by my side.
I try to show how much I care,
believe in me I will be there.
I never knew where you belong,
whenever you just hear my song.
Is it a lie or is it true?
So many tears I've cried for you.
Oh ho, oh ho, a million tears for you,
Oh ho, oh ho, a million tears for you
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:06 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Those words
Those words i could never have told her directly. Those wounds and scars i bear. Everything she did and what i've said are all the truth. They told me i need to make her learn and can't be soft to her anymore. Still, i realise, i am myself. No matter what i've said, i still care a lot for her. Tears still roll down my cheeks when i said those things. They asked me, why am i even crying? You're right and not wrong and is just telling her the truth. Why are you sad? That's the problem with you, always being too kind...
Those words, i felt that i've become just liked her. Saying such hurtful stuffs while i'll always keep them inside my heart. Silly me right? Well, i'm going to drink. I'm gonna cut till i bleed like never before! I must let her go in order for her to start a fresh.
I must, those words... My last words to you...
Those words, i felt that i've become just liked her. Saying such hurtful stuffs while i'll always keep them inside my heart. Silly me right? Well, i'm going to drink. I'm gonna cut till i bleed like never before! I must let her go in order for her to start a fresh.
I must, those words... My last words to you...
i know that i have loved you ... at 4:46 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Melting Love
Melting love. Broken heart, bloody tears, hidden scars and fake smiles. Those are what you've left behind. Words from you changes my world. Yet it disgust me. The innocent look you're showing and the pity you're trying to gather. Yearning for true love? Well, what a joke! Do you even understand or know what it is about? Haha! You don't! You have no rights to say these in front of me. Your thoughts and betrayal have shown what kind of girl you are. Disappointment and despair are what you've left for me in the midst of memories.
How you've hurt me, i wish i could pay you back sometimes. Maybe you should just try half of my pain. IF you could take it, then take back everything you've thrown at me! You'll die. I'm sure you will. I'm now a inhumane guy. MY thoughts and my fingers don't process together. I hate you for making me the way i am. I can never recover again. Do you understand? I feel like exploding. Everyday i wish i could just die in your arms. Every night i think of you badly while you're enjoying with him happily.
Were you even real? Those words you said, the promises you made, are them meant to be broken? Why have you forsaken me? You said you hate me for hurting you. Well, you're so selfish. While you have the whole world, my whole world only have you. Every little thing you did, every word you said, every action you take, it hurts like hell! BLOODY HELL!! I wish i could STAB myself through my heart. But i have to be with you. Cause i'm alive. I hate myself more and more each day. Why am i being hurt by you? Why do i endure and fake a smile in front of you? Simply because of my pride or because i don't wanna see you sad?
I'm thankful that i've met you. It could only be you that were for me. Everywhere i go, i think of you. It's almost like i'm living for you with every beat of my heart. I can't fall in love with some stranger like you do. Because i'm no jerk or bastard like the ones you've met. I'm thankful to you and all. My life has come to an end. Please remember me for the rest of your life. Remember how you yearn for true love and hurt a true heart. Remember how you never cherish and take for granted. Remember how much effort someone had put in in order to have you love him. Remember and i'm sure you'll be able to find the one who is truly for you.
Wina, i'm going to take out the only thing that's binding me. The anklet you gave me. It's everything to me now. It's getting more and more loose. It's like it's telling me to let it go. I'm sure you'll be much happier. After taking out, there is no turning back anymore. I wish to tell you one last time, i love you... Always...
Take care always...
How you've hurt me, i wish i could pay you back sometimes. Maybe you should just try half of my pain. IF you could take it, then take back everything you've thrown at me! You'll die. I'm sure you will. I'm now a inhumane guy. MY thoughts and my fingers don't process together. I hate you for making me the way i am. I can never recover again. Do you understand? I feel like exploding. Everyday i wish i could just die in your arms. Every night i think of you badly while you're enjoying with him happily.
Were you even real? Those words you said, the promises you made, are them meant to be broken? Why have you forsaken me? You said you hate me for hurting you. Well, you're so selfish. While you have the whole world, my whole world only have you. Every little thing you did, every word you said, every action you take, it hurts like hell! BLOODY HELL!! I wish i could STAB myself through my heart. But i have to be with you. Cause i'm alive. I hate myself more and more each day. Why am i being hurt by you? Why do i endure and fake a smile in front of you? Simply because of my pride or because i don't wanna see you sad?
I'm thankful that i've met you. It could only be you that were for me. Everywhere i go, i think of you. It's almost like i'm living for you with every beat of my heart. I can't fall in love with some stranger like you do. Because i'm no jerk or bastard like the ones you've met. I'm thankful to you and all. My life has come to an end. Please remember me for the rest of your life. Remember how you yearn for true love and hurt a true heart. Remember how you never cherish and take for granted. Remember how much effort someone had put in in order to have you love him. Remember and i'm sure you'll be able to find the one who is truly for you.
Wina, i'm going to take out the only thing that's binding me. The anklet you gave me. It's everything to me now. It's getting more and more loose. It's like it's telling me to let it go. I'm sure you'll be much happier. After taking out, there is no turning back anymore. I wish to tell you one last time, i love you... Always...
Take care always...
i know that i have loved you ... at 3:49 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
What are words
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
I'm forever keeping my angel close
Your words never came... Yet... I'm still here... Waiting...
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most
What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone
Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
I'm forever keeping my angel close
Your words never came... Yet... I'm still here... Waiting...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:21 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Moving On
Dear blog, after talks and talks with my friends, it's time i get a move on. I've always thought i can't be happy or is forbidden to be because i am alone and the person i love ain't happy. There're things i couldn't tell anyone in a million years and i can't say in a thousand years. I've never like to be bonded. During my time in polytechnic, there were offers for bond to hospital for 3years but i didn't accept. So why did i accept it when i was in NS. Well, simply interest? Yes? Maybe? I'm interested in deployment but it has pros and cons. What if i never come back alive? Or maybe what if i don't get to deploy at all? Haha! Oh well, silly me. All i thought about was her. I didn't want her to listen cause i don't want this to affect her. The money, i wanted to support you for your university so you won't have to work so hard. To give you a better life. Soon, i may not be around anymore. Will you still remember me? Maybe you leaving me is a blessing too. I'll never want you to wait for me or to feel lonely again just like i did.
Thinking through, you were really a demanding yet caring girl. Demanding to have it your way, not giving in, stuborn and get what you want. That's the kind of girl you are. Caring... I cherish it. You demand for this and that to happen. Your suddenly cravings and mood swings. You, refusing to say sorry and i'll always be taking the 1st step. Haha. You'll always tell me it's my fault even you know in the end, it wasn't. But it's okay. I've grown to love you for who you are. If i want you to change, it wouldn't be you anymore. But time after time you compared and hurt me sliently.
I am nothing good in your memories. But you were everything good to me. Well, i choose to see you in a good light Thanks for telling me when i hurt you or made you sad. The attitude you've shown me, it makes me know i have to work harder and harder just for you. I've cried not because you've hurt me. But because i cant be with you anymore. I can't be everything you need, the person you'll turn to and that someone special that will share your woes and anger. If you're lost and you feel helpless, i'll find you, time after time. If you leave and you found someone, i will be waiting, time after time. You will never ever understand how much you've hurt me. I didn't cry often like you did. Cause i'm a guy and i have to be strong. I have to be happy in front of you. Even when the whole world knows i'm sad, you're the one i want to show you my smiling face. I'm different from him or other guys. I'm niang niang, the one you choose.
It is time that i move on. No matter how much i care, i can't do anything for you. No matter how much effort i put in, you'll never see. No matter how fake my smile can be, you've never seen through. So let my love go to waste. No matter how hard i've tried or how much i love you, it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing will change the fact you're gone.
Now that we are apart, am i still in your heart...
I've been sitting here, can't get you off my mind. I've tried my best to be a man and to be strong. I 've drove myself insane, wishing i could touch your face, but the truth remains...
You're gone...
Thinking through, you were really a demanding yet caring girl. Demanding to have it your way, not giving in, stuborn and get what you want. That's the kind of girl you are. Caring... I cherish it. You demand for this and that to happen. Your suddenly cravings and mood swings. You, refusing to say sorry and i'll always be taking the 1st step. Haha. You'll always tell me it's my fault even you know in the end, it wasn't. But it's okay. I've grown to love you for who you are. If i want you to change, it wouldn't be you anymore. But time after time you compared and hurt me sliently.
I am nothing good in your memories. But you were everything good to me. Well, i choose to see you in a good light Thanks for telling me when i hurt you or made you sad. The attitude you've shown me, it makes me know i have to work harder and harder just for you. I've cried not because you've hurt me. But because i cant be with you anymore. I can't be everything you need, the person you'll turn to and that someone special that will share your woes and anger. If you're lost and you feel helpless, i'll find you, time after time. If you leave and you found someone, i will be waiting, time after time. You will never ever understand how much you've hurt me. I didn't cry often like you did. Cause i'm a guy and i have to be strong. I have to be happy in front of you. Even when the whole world knows i'm sad, you're the one i want to show you my smiling face. I'm different from him or other guys. I'm niang niang, the one you choose.
It is time that i move on. No matter how much i care, i can't do anything for you. No matter how much effort i put in, you'll never see. No matter how fake my smile can be, you've never seen through. So let my love go to waste. No matter how hard i've tried or how much i love you, it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing will change the fact you're gone.
Now that we are apart, am i still in your heart...
I've been sitting here, can't get you off my mind. I've tried my best to be a man and to be strong. I 've drove myself insane, wishing i could touch your face, but the truth remains...
You're gone...
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:50 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Beause You Loved ME
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me, ooh, baby
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe, I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because
I was loved by you
You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me
The light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful, baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through
Through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me, ooh, baby
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe, I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because
I was loved by you
You were always there for me, the tender wind that carried me
The light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:47 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Words
smile an ever lasting smile
a smile can bring you near to me
don't ever let me find you gone
'cause that would bring a tear to me
this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say
it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away
talk in ever lasting words
and dedicate them all to me
and I will give you all my life
i'm here if you should call to me
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say
it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away
this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say
a smile can bring you near to me
don't ever let me find you gone
'cause that would bring a tear to me
this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say
it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away
talk in ever lasting words
and dedicate them all to me
and I will give you all my life
i'm here if you should call to me
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say
it's only words
and words are all I have
to take your heart away
this world has lost its glory
let's start a brand new story
now my love
you think that I don't even mean
a single word I say
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:32 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Comparison
As humans, do we love to compare and compete or is it just our second nature? I wonder why. People change over time. We reflect on our own mistakes and we move on becoming stronger and better. By comparing, it helps one to make a better choice. By competing, we seek improvement. We always look forward and after we've something wrong or hurt someone, we'll look back. Silly us. Why don't we try to look at the side. The ones walking beside you are hurt by the words and actions. Everyone is different. Perhaps,because of high expectation, that's why we compare. Unknowingly, we hurt the people around us. Even if we know it hurts, they are some people who will do it as a habit. No one is complete or perfect. That's why we require another half. By saying i'm comparing because i want you to improve is just an excuse. No one deserve to be treated this way. So i tell myself everyday i must not compare. Everyone have their strength and weakness. Someday, i hope we will stop comparing and live life as what is given and yet thrive for more without hurting the one who cares for you. With love...
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:09 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, May 12, 2011
22nd Birthday!
Well, it's time to give thanks to the many whom have not forgotten my birthday. And i'm sorry for those who've forgotten. Well, i hope i can make those who forget remember next year? Cheers! With no order of importance! Here goes...
Special Thanks To:
- Family
- Deanna
- Xin Yan
- Jian Wei
- Tina
- Kwang Li
- Alvin Guo
- Soon Hui
- Weiling
For celebrating with me....
Thanks To:
- Family
- Wina
- Salween
- Shuxian
- Jian Wei
- Deanna
- Xin Yan
- Tina
- Kwang Li
- Alvin Guo
- Soon Hui
- Weiling
- Jian Yu
- Koon Kit
- Alvina
- Daphane Low
- Seow Jia
- Cai Xin
- Dyana
- Dahlya
- Boon Hoe
- Yan Ying
- Angeline
- Belinda
- Keris
- Shu Ye
- Xue Ling
- Lilina
- Leonard
- Leonard Lim
- Ting Ting
- Celestina
- Kean
- Valerie
- Winson Yang
- Ting Zhen
- Darren
- Khalis
- Azlina
- Winnie
- Hui Qiang
- May
- Mabel
- Teck Kian
- Christine
- Zhang Li
- Hong Yun
- Joel
- Rachel
- Yi Jie
- Wei Shan
- Ken Koh
- Qi Yuan
- Zhi Xian
- Grace Tan
- Yuki Lin
- Jamie Lim
- Nelson
- Pinky
- Haziq
- Waiyan
- Kenneth Chia
- Hui Xin
- Xing Juan
- Chee Yuen
- Bryan
- Jun Hao
- Pauline
- Xiu Hui
- Pei Yi
- Joaee
- Elton Goh
- Khairul
- Jeremy Low
- Adeline Kong
- Selina
- Kenneth Chua
- Wei Chen
- Jamie Ngu
- Shi Qi
- Sevin
- Nijo
- Janet
- Cheryl
- Jing Ren
- Naveen
- Geraldine
- Felicia
- Cherry
- Wei Zhi
- Chester Ho
- Anna Ng
- Nabil
- Norin
- Winson Heng
- Jia Qi
- Jesslyn
- Yong Teck
- Xue Jun
- Feng Wei
- Shadiq
- Henry
- Wei Tsi
- Azhar
- Keng Sern
- Jean
For All The Birthday Wishes! :)
Gratitude To:
Xin Yan For Birthday Card, Cake & Pasta
Deanna For Birthday Treat
Kwang Li For Birthday Treat
Weiling For Birthday Treat
Seow Jia For ??? (Haven't receive yet)
Lilina For ??? (Haven't receive yet)
Wina For ??? (Haven't receive yet)
Jean For Birthday Card & Candies
Thanks
Special Thanks To:
- Family
- Deanna
- Xin Yan
- Jian Wei
- Tina
- Kwang Li
- Alvin Guo
- Soon Hui
- Weiling
For celebrating with me....
Thanks To:
- Family
- Wina
- Salween
- Shuxian
- Jian Wei
- Deanna
- Xin Yan
- Tina
- Kwang Li
- Alvin Guo
- Soon Hui
- Weiling
- Jian Yu
- Koon Kit
- Alvina
- Daphane Low
- Seow Jia
- Cai Xin
- Dyana
- Dahlya
- Boon Hoe
- Yan Ying
- Angeline
- Belinda
- Keris
- Shu Ye
- Xue Ling
- Lilina
- Leonard
- Leonard Lim
- Ting Ting
- Celestina
- Kean
- Valerie
- Winson Yang
- Ting Zhen
- Darren
- Khalis
- Azlina
- Winnie
- Hui Qiang
- May
- Mabel
- Teck Kian
- Christine
- Zhang Li
- Hong Yun
- Joel
- Rachel
- Yi Jie
- Wei Shan
- Ken Koh
- Qi Yuan
- Zhi Xian
- Grace Tan
- Yuki Lin
- Jamie Lim
- Nelson
- Pinky
- Haziq
- Waiyan
- Kenneth Chia
- Hui Xin
- Xing Juan
- Chee Yuen
- Bryan
- Jun Hao
- Pauline
- Xiu Hui
- Pei Yi
- Joaee
- Elton Goh
- Khairul
- Jeremy Low
- Adeline Kong
- Selina
- Kenneth Chua
- Wei Chen
- Jamie Ngu
- Shi Qi
- Sevin
- Nijo
- Janet
- Cheryl
- Jing Ren
- Naveen
- Geraldine
- Felicia
- Cherry
- Wei Zhi
- Chester Ho
- Anna Ng
- Nabil
- Norin
- Winson Heng
- Jia Qi
- Jesslyn
- Yong Teck
- Xue Jun
- Feng Wei
- Shadiq
- Henry
- Wei Tsi
- Azhar
- Keng Sern
- Jean
For All The Birthday Wishes! :)
Gratitude To:
Xin Yan For Birthday Card, Cake & Pasta
Deanna For Birthday Treat
Kwang Li For Birthday Treat
Weiling For Birthday Treat
Seow Jia For ??? (Haven't receive yet)
Lilina For ??? (Haven't receive yet)
Wina For ??? (Haven't receive yet)
Jean For Birthday Card & Candies
Thanks
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:31 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, May 09, 2011
My Birthday Wishes
Well, i never had much wishes to begin with. I suppose i could do with just a few? Being a loner and emotional and sensitive, i've always been thinking a lot. Hope my wishes will come true be it whether it's too far-fetched or not. Not in any order, here i go...
- World peace
- Everyone can be happy
- Parents, family and friends can have good health
- To meet that special someone again and hold her
- Be rich
- A 7 seater car
- A bunch of clothes
- New pair of jeans
- Cool shades
- Ear studs and ear rings
- To have someone there to celebrate my pathetic birthday
- To die on my birthday
- To release myself from grief
- To love again
- Driving license
My wishes are too complicated... Sorry!
Would it come true? Those promises...
- World peace
- Everyone can be happy
- Parents, family and friends can have good health
- To meet that special someone again and hold her
- Be rich
- A 7 seater car
- A bunch of clothes
- New pair of jeans
- Cool shades
- Ear studs and ear rings
- To have someone there to celebrate my pathetic birthday
- To die on my birthday
- To release myself from grief
- To love again
- Driving license
My wishes are too complicated... Sorry!
Would it come true? Those promises...
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:00 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
With You
Suddenly i'm feeling random. There's so many things left undone. So many wishes i hope would come true. I hope to be able to see her again. I wish we had more time. My wishlist...
Be your best friend..
Get caught with you in the rain.
Dance with you in the rain.
Stargaze on a clear night.
Watch the sunset together.
Spend all day with you doing nothing.
Moonlit walks on the beach.
Be more proud of you than I already am at this very moment.
Go on a carriage ride through the park.
Do a crossword together.
Go to brunch.
Have a disagreement (it could/will only make us stronger).
Go for a twilight horseback ride.
Watch a bad movie together.
Spend the rest of my life with you.
Have our picture taken together.
Take ice cream with you.
Make love to you passionately.
Go to a museum together.
Talk to each other using only body language.
Give you space when you need it.
Accept you totally and completely - flaws and all (I already do).
Discuss current events in a heated debate.
Have you see the error of your ways from aforementioned heated debate and make mad, torrid love to you, in the midst of all that passion.
Carve our names into a tree/table.
Go for a walk at dusk together.
Be one with you.
Send you a singing telegram.
Spend all night thinking of 101 sweet things to do for you.
Hold you and gaze into your eyes and realize how much I love you...and tell you.
Gently run my hand across your cheek and look into your eyes.
Blindfold you and take you somewhere romantic.
Spend my life making you happy.
Spend my life making our family happy.
Feel your heartbeat.
See our unborn child/children in your eyes.
Go roller/ice skating together.
Give you a backrub just because.
ALWAYS being honest with each other.
Go hiking/camping together.
Have our first fight, make up and feel a stronger bond because we very successfully weathered the storm - together.
Marry you.
Laugh at someone together.
Share a plate of spaghetti.
Give you a stuffed animal just because...
Go on a fun family vacation and bring back the kind of memories movies are made of.
Treat you like my Lancelot.
Count thunder together during a thunderstorm.
Envelop you in my soul.
Cook your favorite meal/meals.
Know you better than you know yourself.
Look over at you during an office/family party and have you know without me saying a word - that I love you.
Be able to say "I love you" in 89 different ways - in 89 different countries.
Hold you when you're at your saddest and comfort you when you need it the most.
Be the one you come to for that comfort and holding.
Wipe away the days' stresses and issues, with just one hug/kiss.
Grow old with you.
Would you ever know what i wish for? You never will... I'm tired... Headache... Sorry...
Be your best friend..
Get caught with you in the rain.
Dance with you in the rain.
Stargaze on a clear night.
Watch the sunset together.
Spend all day with you doing nothing.
Moonlit walks on the beach.
Be more proud of you than I already am at this very moment.
Go on a carriage ride through the park.
Do a crossword together.
Go to brunch.
Have a disagreement (it could/will only make us stronger).
Go for a twilight horseback ride.
Watch a bad movie together.
Spend the rest of my life with you.
Have our picture taken together.
Take ice cream with you.
Make love to you passionately.
Go to a museum together.
Talk to each other using only body language.
Give you space when you need it.
Accept you totally and completely - flaws and all (I already do).
Discuss current events in a heated debate.
Have you see the error of your ways from aforementioned heated debate and make mad, torrid love to you, in the midst of all that passion.
Carve our names into a tree/table.
Go for a walk at dusk together.
Be one with you.
Send you a singing telegram.
Spend all night thinking of 101 sweet things to do for you.
Hold you and gaze into your eyes and realize how much I love you...and tell you.
Gently run my hand across your cheek and look into your eyes.
Blindfold you and take you somewhere romantic.
Spend my life making you happy.
Spend my life making our family happy.
Feel your heartbeat.
See our unborn child/children in your eyes.
Go roller/ice skating together.
Give you a backrub just because.
ALWAYS being honest with each other.
Go hiking/camping together.
Have our first fight, make up and feel a stronger bond because we very successfully weathered the storm - together.
Marry you.
Laugh at someone together.
Share a plate of spaghetti.
Give you a stuffed animal just because...
Go on a fun family vacation and bring back the kind of memories movies are made of.
Treat you like my Lancelot.
Count thunder together during a thunderstorm.
Envelop you in my soul.
Cook your favorite meal/meals.
Know you better than you know yourself.
Look over at you during an office/family party and have you know without me saying a word - that I love you.
Be able to say "I love you" in 89 different ways - in 89 different countries.
Hold you when you're at your saddest and comfort you when you need it the most.
Be the one you come to for that comfort and holding.
Wipe away the days' stresses and issues, with just one hug/kiss.
Grow old with you.
Would you ever know what i wish for? You never will... I'm tired... Headache... Sorry...
i know that i have loved you ... at 4:19 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Duty
I'm on duty today. It's a really boring day. I wish there was something for me to do. Someone there waiting for me. Something i can hope for. It was for the sake that i'm here because i'm here. I've never thought i'll be able to do much in life or to make a positive impact on someone's life. My era if caring and kindness have long gone. People will compare, they critizie and most of them don't give a damn. Yet here i am, parying and wishing for a miracle. Maybe what i'm asking for is too much. Maybe it's so unreal that it'll never happened. But one thing i know for sure, the world is ever changing. Leap of fate, i'll pray that someday, i'll be able to hold you again...
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:52 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Missing You
Standing here looking out my window
My nights are long and my days are cold
Cause I don't have you
How can I be so damn demanding?
I know you said that it's over now
But I can't let go
Every day I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that
You're everything I need and more
If only I could find you
Like a cold Summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing you
I'm the desert without the sand
You're the woman without a man
I'm the ring without a hand
I'm missing you
Driving 'round thought I saw you pass me
My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me
Cause you fade away
Maybe I'm just hallucinating
Cause my loneliness got the best of me
And my heart's so weak
My nights are long and my days are cold
Cause I don't have you
How can I be so damn demanding?
I know you said that it's over now
But I can't let go
Every day I want to pick up the phone
And tell you that
You're everything I need and more
If only I could find you
Like a cold Summer afternoon
Like the snow coming down in June
Like a wedding without a groom
I'm missing you
I'm the desert without the sand
You're the woman without a man
I'm the ring without a hand
I'm missing you
Driving 'round thought I saw you pass me
My rearview mirror's playing tricks on me
Cause you fade away
Maybe I'm just hallucinating
Cause my loneliness got the best of me
And my heart's so weak
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:18 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Dearest
It would be nice if we could put away and throw out
everything except what really mattered, but
reality is just cruel.
In such times,
I see you laughing
whenever I close my eyes.
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
People are all sad, so
they go and forget, but--
For that which I should love,
For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got hurt, didn't we?
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got there in the end
everything except what really mattered, but
reality is just cruel.
In such times,
I see you laughing
whenever I close my eyes.
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
People are all sad, so
they go and forget, but--
For that which I should love,
For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got hurt, didn't we?
Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
that smiling face will
have to stay with me without fail.
Back then, when we met,
it was all awkward.
We went the long way, didn't we?
We got there in the end
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:57 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, May 02, 2011
Fallen
I drift i burnt i cried, when you left me and i felt helpless like plane crashing down the air. I had a dream that i, was falling from a thousand feet, it doesn't really matter and here i am. With the scars on my hands, the the shattered of blades, i've fallen. Just wanna stay there fallen and broken, the light doesn't reach me, the coldness multiply. Watch me burn and tormented in hell, like you said you used to loved me. I wanna die i've fallen beyond grace, the emptiness you gave, the day you took everything away. Watch me fall watch me fall beyond misery, let my tears of blood flow through the everlasting dreams you promised. I want to cry don't let me burn in hell, i may have fallen but i'm still human, can't escape fate as i walk on through, See me fall, show me the destiny, i will be there, fallen...
i know that i have loved you ... at 1:24 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Holding on together
Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith hope and glory
Hold to the truth
In your heart
If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I
Souls in the winds
must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears
All away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come
Home to stay
When we are out there
In the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark
We'll feel the light
Warm our hearts
Everyone
If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
As high
As souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith hope and glory
Hold to the truth
In your heart
If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I
Souls in the winds
must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears
All away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come
Home to stay
When we are out there
In the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark
We'll feel the light
Warm our hearts
Everyone
If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
As high
As souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:09 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Sunday, May 01, 2011
The 28th Month
Its 1st May. Today is supposed to be the 28th month. Does she still remember it? Or is she only remembering about him and 22nd every month? Well, why should i even care right? Muahaha! I wonder who i am. I'm starting to grow weary again. Really tired. It's hard to force a smile when you're all alone. It still hurts badly but i know i have to move on. My physical body gonna move on. I'm sure i'll be just fine...
i know that i have loved you ... at 1:12 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
