Sunday, May 15, 2011
Moving On
Dear blog, after talks and talks with my friends, it's time i get a move on. I've always thought i can't be happy or is forbidden to be because i am alone and the person i love ain't happy. There're things i couldn't tell anyone in a million years and i can't say in a thousand years. I've never like to be bonded. During my time in polytechnic, there were offers for bond to hospital for 3years but i didn't accept. So why did i accept it when i was in NS. Well, simply interest? Yes? Maybe? I'm interested in deployment but it has pros and cons. What if i never come back alive? Or maybe what if i don't get to deploy at all? Haha! Oh well, silly me. All i thought about was her. I didn't want her to listen cause i don't want this to affect her. The money, i wanted to support you for your university so you won't have to work so hard. To give you a better life. Soon, i may not be around anymore. Will you still remember me? Maybe you leaving me is a blessing too. I'll never want you to wait for me or to feel lonely again just like i did.
Thinking through, you were really a demanding yet caring girl. Demanding to have it your way, not giving in, stuborn and get what you want. That's the kind of girl you are. Caring... I cherish it. You demand for this and that to happen. Your suddenly cravings and mood swings. You, refusing to say sorry and i'll always be taking the 1st step. Haha. You'll always tell me it's my fault even you know in the end, it wasn't. But it's okay. I've grown to love you for who you are. If i want you to change, it wouldn't be you anymore. But time after time you compared and hurt me sliently.
I am nothing good in your memories. But you were everything good to me. Well, i choose to see you in a good light Thanks for telling me when i hurt you or made you sad. The attitude you've shown me, it makes me know i have to work harder and harder just for you. I've cried not because you've hurt me. But because i cant be with you anymore. I can't be everything you need, the person you'll turn to and that someone special that will share your woes and anger. If you're lost and you feel helpless, i'll find you, time after time. If you leave and you found someone, i will be waiting, time after time. You will never ever understand how much you've hurt me. I didn't cry often like you did. Cause i'm a guy and i have to be strong. I have to be happy in front of you. Even when the whole world knows i'm sad, you're the one i want to show you my smiling face. I'm different from him or other guys. I'm niang niang, the one you choose.
It is time that i move on. No matter how much i care, i can't do anything for you. No matter how much effort i put in, you'll never see. No matter how fake my smile can be, you've never seen through. So let my love go to waste. No matter how hard i've tried or how much i love you, it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing will change the fact you're gone.
Now that we are apart, am i still in your heart...
I've been sitting here, can't get you off my mind. I've tried my best to be a man and to be strong. I 've drove myself insane, wishing i could touch your face, but the truth remains...
You're gone...
Thinking through, you were really a demanding yet caring girl. Demanding to have it your way, not giving in, stuborn and get what you want. That's the kind of girl you are. Caring... I cherish it. You demand for this and that to happen. Your suddenly cravings and mood swings. You, refusing to say sorry and i'll always be taking the 1st step. Haha. You'll always tell me it's my fault even you know in the end, it wasn't. But it's okay. I've grown to love you for who you are. If i want you to change, it wouldn't be you anymore. But time after time you compared and hurt me sliently.
I am nothing good in your memories. But you were everything good to me. Well, i choose to see you in a good light Thanks for telling me when i hurt you or made you sad. The attitude you've shown me, it makes me know i have to work harder and harder just for you. I've cried not because you've hurt me. But because i cant be with you anymore. I can't be everything you need, the person you'll turn to and that someone special that will share your woes and anger. If you're lost and you feel helpless, i'll find you, time after time. If you leave and you found someone, i will be waiting, time after time. You will never ever understand how much you've hurt me. I didn't cry often like you did. Cause i'm a guy and i have to be strong. I have to be happy in front of you. Even when the whole world knows i'm sad, you're the one i want to show you my smiling face. I'm different from him or other guys. I'm niang niang, the one you choose.
It is time that i move on. No matter how much i care, i can't do anything for you. No matter how much effort i put in, you'll never see. No matter how fake my smile can be, you've never seen through. So let my love go to waste. No matter how hard i've tried or how much i love you, it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing will change the fact you're gone.
Now that we are apart, am i still in your heart...
I've been sitting here, can't get you off my mind. I've tried my best to be a man and to be strong. I 've drove myself insane, wishing i could touch your face, but the truth remains...
You're gone...
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:50 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
