Monday, March 31, 2014
Thank You
Life for me hasn't been that good but I am thankful to the people I met. I'm tired yet I drag myself to wherever I have to be or whatever I have to attend. I am thankful that I've met people that gave me special meaning to my life. Thank you.
Dear M, even though we are far apart and pur feelings no longer connect, I am grateful to you. For appearing, for believing in me and for the feelings you had for me and our future. To be able to know how your life has been, I'm thankful too. To travel so far everyday just to school, it must be very tiring. After all, I worked I'm tuas for 2years so I know how you feel. I'm glad you've not given up and continue to do your best! Just wanna tell you Gambate!
I'm passing woodlands again. I hope your life will get better and better and I hope you'll do well for your studies! You can do it!
Dear M, even though we are far apart and pur feelings no longer connect, I am grateful to you. For appearing, for believing in me and for the feelings you had for me and our future. To be able to know how your life has been, I'm thankful too. To travel so far everyday just to school, it must be very tiring. After all, I worked I'm tuas for 2years so I know how you feel. I'm glad you've not given up and continue to do your best! Just wanna tell you Gambate!
I'm passing woodlands again. I hope your life will get better and better and I hope you'll do well for your studies! You can do it!
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:27 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Needed
Thursday, i was sick again for the 3rd day and did not go to work. A message came. It was from an ex colleague and she wouldn't text me if there isn't anything. After-all, my phone hasn't ring anymore since the day she's gone. My friend, she wanted to talk. I called and she was crying. She was someone kind, blur, sweet and innocent from my memory. Someone whom will get easily cheated. She told me she's getting married in 3 months time and she is pregnant. Her boyfriend, quarreled with her and scolded her badly and didn't seems to care about her. I was shocked and worried and at the same time, sad...
She called me half a year ago when they broke up but went back together. Marriage for the sake of the baby, it is not easy when someone you love and care for doesn't really bother about you and you'll be staying and living with him for the rest of your life. Despite countless reasons to ask her to leave, i did not. I focused on solving the problems and make her look at the brighter side. In my mind, i would never treat M this way.
It was a long story before she finally made a decision and we focused on a plan and she went back to stay with her boyfriend again. At least i was able to help somehow. I guess, when people are sad or in need, then maybe they will realize i am there for them. I am glad i am still useful to some people. My mind was full of M when she spoke. I wish you are doing fine...
Whether i am needed or not, i'll always be at the same place waiting. If you ever see me one day, i hope, i sincerely hope, you will smile and say hello to me. Take care
She called me half a year ago when they broke up but went back together. Marriage for the sake of the baby, it is not easy when someone you love and care for doesn't really bother about you and you'll be staying and living with him for the rest of your life. Despite countless reasons to ask her to leave, i did not. I focused on solving the problems and make her look at the brighter side. In my mind, i would never treat M this way.
It was a long story before she finally made a decision and we focused on a plan and she went back to stay with her boyfriend again. At least i was able to help somehow. I guess, when people are sad or in need, then maybe they will realize i am there for them. I am glad i am still useful to some people. My mind was full of M when she spoke. I wish you are doing fine...
Whether i am needed or not, i'll always be at the same place waiting. If you ever see me one day, i hope, i sincerely hope, you will smile and say hello to me. Take care
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:08 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, March 28, 2014
I'm Here
I'm here again. Wanted to board the bus but I didn't. At the same old place, where I uses to wait for you. How have you been? If I see you now, would I be able to talk to you? Would you approach me and say hello? Or would I be like a stranger to you now?
I've been here many times, alone and waiting. You may no longer take the same route home. You may no longer recognise me. But still I am at the same place, waiting for you. As pathetic as it seems, I couldn't tell you. Despite countless futile efforts, I am still here. This is me.
Even though I may not be able to see you, I feel your presense everywhere I go. These memories, they never fades and I'm trembling. The thoughts of you is something that keeps me safe in this crazy world. Even though these feelings will never reach you and unrequited, I pray for your happiness.
If your ever lose your way, think back of yesterday. Remember me this way, remember me this way...
I've been here many times, alone and waiting. You may no longer take the same route home. You may no longer recognise me. But still I am at the same place, waiting for you. As pathetic as it seems, I couldn't tell you. Despite countless futile efforts, I am still here. This is me.
Even though I may not be able to see you, I feel your presense everywhere I go. These memories, they never fades and I'm trembling. The thoughts of you is something that keeps me safe in this crazy world. Even though these feelings will never reach you and unrequited, I pray for your happiness.
If your ever lose your way, think back of yesterday. Remember me this way, remember me this way...
i know that i have loved you ... at 4:26 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, March 27, 2014
My Will
Quietly awakening... I always, always wish that these fleeting thoughts would reach you...
Unable to move forward across "just a little more" distance The way I see before me is always blocked Every time the days I want to see you but can't pile up, My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak.If there is such a thing as "eternity," I want to believe, even if I have to take the long way. Although I know that I've been hurt before because I'm clumsy I won't stop; I won't give in to anyone.I think of you and that alone is enough to make the tears start to flow now I always, always wish that these fleeting thoughts would reach you...I've known all too well about pretending to be strong. But since then, my doubts have vanished.There's definitely things I want to show you And so many words I want to hear I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry So I'll stop waiting and seize my "chance."I think of you, and I feel like that alone is enough to make my heart grow stronger. I always, always wish that these fleeting thoughts would reach you...I think of you and that alone is enough to make the tears start to flow now My distant voice can't reach you now, but so that someday it definitely will... Believe. la la la la la la... Believe. la la la la la la... Believe. la la la la la la...
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:18 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, March 20, 2014
That Last Day
It's raining heavily now with lightning and thunder. Are you back home? Don't get caught in the rain okay? Do you remember that last day we had? It was similar. Raining with lightning and thunder. The fuse in your house went off and there was no electricity. You were hiding and was scared. I stayed beside you. We spoken, we hugged and we cried. You saw me off that usual bustop and there it was, the day we last met.
No matter how long it has been, i still cherish you. I remembered all your care, your love and your concern. You stubbornness, carelessness and your beautiful smile. I cherish everything you've gave me and i just want to tell you that i am thankful. That last day, it wasn't beautiful but it wasn't as bad. We didn't quarrel, we didn't fight. All i could remember was your smile and the warmth from your hug. I miss you.
Despite being no able to ever see you again, i know you will be just fine. Living happier than before and become a stronger and beautiful lady. I love your smile and i could never forget them. I'm contented. Thank you. Be happy & i hope when you think about me, you could remember something good about our time together. Happy 21 months.
With love... Darling...
No matter how long it has been, i still cherish you. I remembered all your care, your love and your concern. You stubbornness, carelessness and your beautiful smile. I cherish everything you've gave me and i just want to tell you that i am thankful. That last day, it wasn't beautiful but it wasn't as bad. We didn't quarrel, we didn't fight. All i could remember was your smile and the warmth from your hug. I miss you.
Despite being no able to ever see you again, i know you will be just fine. Living happier than before and become a stronger and beautiful lady. I love your smile and i could never forget them. I'm contented. Thank you. Be happy & i hope when you think about me, you could remember something good about our time together. Happy 21 months.
With love... Darling...
i know that i have loved you ... at 4:28 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Hope
Live believing, dreams are for weaving. Wonders are waiting to start. If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die. Keep believing, maybe one day, I'll see her again somewhere besides my dreams.
Everyday, I look around me. I feel alone, felt alone and am alone. I don't expect or say you must return or will return. Nowhere in this world has such a written rule. I can only hope. Hope someday, you will text me. Hope someday, you will understand. Hope someday, after you've matured, you would appreciate. I can never tell you directly how I feel. I care too much, think too much. I can't bear to hurt you nor force you. I'll wait till the tragic end.
It's funny. I text you everyday even though I know I've been blocked. I guess because I'm blocked, that's why I dare to text you. Hope you're doing well in your new JC life and your love ones care and dote you. Don't give up because it's too difficult. Don't give up because you don't wanna think about something complex. You can do it.
I've come to accept that I no longer have to be happy to live on. And I don't need someone else by my side. Even though I do not know what or how you are or have been doing, no news means good news right? I'm growing weary day after day. I wish I could one day pass you something I've wrote. But should I be no longer around, I'm sure my family will be able to contact and give it to you.
I said you were my last and last it will be. I gave you and ourselves a chance but it seems I've forgotten about the hopelessness that once plunge me into despair. I hope you would never experience how I felt. Be happy BB. Take care!
Everyday, I look around me. I feel alone, felt alone and am alone. I don't expect or say you must return or will return. Nowhere in this world has such a written rule. I can only hope. Hope someday, you will text me. Hope someday, you will understand. Hope someday, after you've matured, you would appreciate. I can never tell you directly how I feel. I care too much, think too much. I can't bear to hurt you nor force you. I'll wait till the tragic end.
It's funny. I text you everyday even though I know I've been blocked. I guess because I'm blocked, that's why I dare to text you. Hope you're doing well in your new JC life and your love ones care and dote you. Don't give up because it's too difficult. Don't give up because you don't wanna think about something complex. You can do it.
I've come to accept that I no longer have to be happy to live on. And I don't need someone else by my side. Even though I do not know what or how you are or have been doing, no news means good news right? I'm growing weary day after day. I wish I could one day pass you something I've wrote. But should I be no longer around, I'm sure my family will be able to contact and give it to you.
I said you were my last and last it will be. I gave you and ourselves a chance but it seems I've forgotten about the hopelessness that once plunge me into despair. I hope you would never experience how I felt. Be happy BB. Take care!
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:40 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Unspoken
There are many things in this world that are unseen, untouched and many words left unspoken. This is why we can connect. We understand without words. We cherish our love ones and keep our memories close. Sometimes, there are so much so much to mention but you can't find the words to reflect how your truly feel. I'm worn out.
Everyday, without fail, I would think of you and have the urge to text you, to call you and meet you. I fear rejection. I fear how much more cruel life would become when I see your tears. I'm broken, beyong redemption. With or without me, the sub still shines on. With or without me, your world would not make a difference. But it affects me a great deal.
I treated you as gently and with as much affection I could. I cared for you more than I would for myself. I think of you more than the time I sleep everyday. But it wasn't enough, it just wasn't enough. I am not a strong person. I always try to make everyone else happy besides myself. Yes, your happiness is mine too. I just wanted to see your smile.
Sometimes, the unspoken feelings are the best because you will always remember how you feel at this moment, living for now and for the future. Even if it is hopeless, I believe my feelings will keep you safe and led you on to a happier and loving life.
It is okay. I tell myself. Only me and my blog will know. I am worn out. So sleepy. Till now, you're always with me, in my imagination. Somewhere you belong, someplace you're alone, I'll be there. I love you
Everyday, without fail, I would think of you and have the urge to text you, to call you and meet you. I fear rejection. I fear how much more cruel life would become when I see your tears. I'm broken, beyong redemption. With or without me, the sub still shines on. With or without me, your world would not make a difference. But it affects me a great deal.
I treated you as gently and with as much affection I could. I cared for you more than I would for myself. I think of you more than the time I sleep everyday. But it wasn't enough, it just wasn't enough. I am not a strong person. I always try to make everyone else happy besides myself. Yes, your happiness is mine too. I just wanted to see your smile.
Sometimes, the unspoken feelings are the best because you will always remember how you feel at this moment, living for now and for the future. Even if it is hopeless, I believe my feelings will keep you safe and led you on to a happier and loving life.
It is okay. I tell myself. Only me and my blog will know. I am worn out. So sleepy. Till now, you're always with me, in my imagination. Somewhere you belong, someplace you're alone, I'll be there. I love you
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:19 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
The Odd One
I've always been the odd one. Things I fancy, most people don't. Things I don't do, it seems so common. My friends, discussing about clubbing, smoking, gaming and sexual discussions. I have nothing in common. The people I passed by, those conversation I listened to, they sounds foreign and far-fetched. I wish I could be more normal so I could click with more people. Haha. Funny me.
Once I told someone, girls always prefer bad guys. She corrected me. Girls always prefer guys whom are bad to others but good only to them. I do not know how good or bad I am, but I could never do it.
My heart aches and my eyes hurts. I wish you were here. I wish you would text me because I feel so hurt. I am on board the bus home. Haha. My vision started growing blurry. I am underwhelmed. Nobody said loving you was going to be easy but nobody say it would hurt so much. I feel like a zombie. I'm broken. It hurt so much so much till now. I can't let myself bother you.
I am just an ordinary guy. Not special, and nobody will be able to love me anymore. I'm tired. For now, let me sleep. Missing you.
Once I told someone, girls always prefer bad guys. She corrected me. Girls always prefer guys whom are bad to others but good only to them. I do not know how good or bad I am, but I could never do it.
My heart aches and my eyes hurts. I wish you were here. I wish you would text me because I feel so hurt. I am on board the bus home. Haha. My vision started growing blurry. I am underwhelmed. Nobody said loving you was going to be easy but nobody say it would hurt so much. I feel like a zombie. I'm broken. It hurt so much so much till now. I can't let myself bother you.
I am just an ordinary guy. Not special, and nobody will be able to love me anymore. I'm tired. For now, let me sleep. Missing you.
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:16 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, March 10, 2014
memories
Even if one day our memories will fade, I know I will be able to remember you by your voice,your smile and your smell. Though we are far apart, I've never cease to believe that one day, you will be back here again, standing beside me.
My train just passes woodlands. I alighted, too a look and feel the environment. Remember the Times we were at the same station and same place. I texted your number, knowing that it will not go through and you will never get to read them. Perhaps I lack the courage to confess. I wanted to tell you how I feel but I didn't want to bother you. I didn't want to be a burden in your life.
Till today, I am still in pain, bleeding. I longed for you yet I distanced myself. The current mewould not be able to overcome my despair. Even though whatever I say will no longer reach you, I know you will be just fine. I love you. This much, I've always wanted to say.
Remember, I am always here. Somewhere far, looking after you. Take care...
My train just passes woodlands. I alighted, too a look and feel the environment. Remember the Times we were at the same station and same place. I texted your number, knowing that it will not go through and you will never get to read them. Perhaps I lack the courage to confess. I wanted to tell you how I feel but I didn't want to bother you. I didn't want to be a burden in your life.
Till today, I am still in pain, bleeding. I longed for you yet I distanced myself. The current mewould not be able to overcome my despair. Even though whatever I say will no longer reach you, I know you will be just fine. I love you. This much, I've always wanted to say.
Remember, I am always here. Somewhere far, looking after you. Take care...
i know that i have loved you ... at 5:08 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, March 06, 2014
I Miss You
I'm searching for a place, i'm looking all alone, there's no one here i know. There's nothing but the rain and footsteps but there's no sound, no one likes me i'm gone. I don't know who you are but i'm with you, i miss you. Why is everything so confusing? Am i just out of my mind? Take me by my hands take me somewhere near you. I just want to be close to you. With you...
Silly me. I've been texting you when i know that those messages obviously won't get through. Perhaps it because i know it won't get through, that's why i'm texting you. 其实我真的很辛苦. But i can tell no one. All i can is to keep it to myself. I'm tired. When will this ever ends?
Silly me. I've been texting you when i know that those messages obviously won't get through. Perhaps it because i know it won't get through, that's why i'm texting you. 其实我真的很辛苦. But i can tell no one. All i can is to keep it to myself. I'm tired. When will this ever ends?
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:38 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
