Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Given Up
Tired & broken. I'm weary, between staying and leaving in my own world. Such an ending would be unacceptable right? I have to brace myself. I felt lonely even though i have friends. I do not need people in my life whom are just temporally and come close to me with a fake face and intentions. Betrayed, torn and tattered and abandoned, the ever feeling or loneliness and regrets whelm up inside me. There is no way out. I'm trapped in my own mix of emotions, desperately trying to be happy.
It's been far too long since i met anyone real. Ever so trusting and naive, i started the wrong way. I feel cold and the pain inside me just pulverized me. It's spreading to every part of my body. I don't know who to trust anymore. I can't even trust myself. To love another, am i truly capable of such task? It's laughable. There has never been a day i truly wish to remain as part of this world. I'm always praying for people's happiness but what about me? Maybe i don't have the need for this feeling anymore.
Whenever i see someone else being happy and loving, i feel really envious but... maybe i just wasn't good enough. Wasn't good enough to be loved, wasn't good enough to be someone else's side. I'll keep watch from afar. I'm breaking... I've tried my best to keep up my pretense bur i'm so worn out. Won't someone save me? I've given up...
It's been far too long since i met anyone real. Ever so trusting and naive, i started the wrong way. I feel cold and the pain inside me just pulverized me. It's spreading to every part of my body. I don't know who to trust anymore. I can't even trust myself. To love another, am i truly capable of such task? It's laughable. There has never been a day i truly wish to remain as part of this world. I'm always praying for people's happiness but what about me? Maybe i don't have the need for this feeling anymore.
Whenever i see someone else being happy and loving, i feel really envious but... maybe i just wasn't good enough. Wasn't good enough to be loved, wasn't good enough to be someone else's side. I'll keep watch from afar. I'm breaking... I've tried my best to keep up my pretense bur i'm so worn out. Won't someone save me? I've given up...
i know that i have loved you ... at 1:28 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Forgive & Forget
Whenever we make a mistake or hurt someone, we expect the person to forgive and forget. But when someone does that to us, we ain't able to gallantly forgive less forget the pain and hurt that's been done to us. I'm tired...
I could always forgive, not because i have a big heart but because i believe everyone deserve a second chance but there are always people whom would repeat the same harm and keep hurting you. I'm used to being hurt and getting lied to. Promises are a sacred vow to be kept. Who in this era would believe it? Everyone would just laugh and say that i'm utterly stupid and silly but i didn't mind because that's something that i believe in. I'll forgive but i'll never forget what was done, the hurt, the tears, the smile, the love and the promises.
To forgive and forget is telling yourself to give up on humanity. I'm tired...
I could always forgive, not because i have a big heart but because i believe everyone deserve a second chance but there are always people whom would repeat the same harm and keep hurting you. I'm used to being hurt and getting lied to. Promises are a sacred vow to be kept. Who in this era would believe it? Everyone would just laugh and say that i'm utterly stupid and silly but i didn't mind because that's something that i believe in. I'll forgive but i'll never forget what was done, the hurt, the tears, the smile, the love and the promises.
To forgive and forget is telling yourself to give up on humanity. I'm tired...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:24 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, December 24, 2015
To where you are
It's been a really long time since i wrote an entry. Things hasn't changed and everything still seems fuzzy. It seems like yesterday that i was smiling and teasing you and today i am left all alone, betrayed and hurt. Never in a million years would i have thought of betrayal from someone i once hold dear. I've lost all my strength and i'm tired and weak.
Maybe it is time to let go. Maybe i was too trusting to believe in miracle. A pure heart doesn't necessarily gives the best results. I'm tired, hurt and broken. I've been living in pain and misery. I wish i've never known a world like this but i have no regrets because you taught me things i would never know and you cared for me as someone whom you once held dear, even if it was only for a brief moment.
Thank you world, for having me. Thank you for teaching me the color of feelings we each possess. Be brave, i'm sure the world isn't all that bad. Somewhere, someplace, i'm sure you'll be there smiling. Even thought i could never reach the place where you are, i hope you'll always be safe and happy...
Maybe it is time to let go. Maybe i was too trusting to believe in miracle. A pure heart doesn't necessarily gives the best results. I'm tired, hurt and broken. I've been living in pain and misery. I wish i've never known a world like this but i have no regrets because you taught me things i would never know and you cared for me as someone whom you once held dear, even if it was only for a brief moment.
Thank you world, for having me. Thank you for teaching me the color of feelings we each possess. Be brave, i'm sure the world isn't all that bad. Somewhere, someplace, i'm sure you'll be there smiling. Even thought i could never reach the place where you are, i hope you'll always be safe and happy...
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:06 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
