Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Given Up

Tired & broken. I'm weary, between staying and leaving in my own world. Such an ending would be unacceptable right? I have to brace myself. I felt lonely even though i have friends. I do not need people in my life whom are just temporally and come close to me with a fake face and intentions. Betrayed, torn and tattered and abandoned, the ever feeling or loneliness and regrets whelm up inside me. There is no way out. I'm trapped in my own mix of emotions, desperately trying to be happy.

It's been far too long since i met anyone real. Ever so trusting and naive, i started the wrong way. I feel cold and the pain inside me just pulverized me. It's spreading to every part of my body. I don't know who to trust anymore. I can't even trust myself. To love another, am i truly capable of such task? It's laughable. There has never been a day i truly wish to remain as part of this world. I'm always praying for people's happiness but what about me? Maybe i don't have the need for this feeling anymore.

Whenever i see someone else being happy and loving, i feel really envious but... maybe i just wasn't good enough. Wasn't good enough to be loved, wasn't good enough to be someone else's side. I'll keep watch from afar. I'm breaking... I've tried my best to keep up my pretense bur i'm so worn out. Won't someone save me? I've given up...

i know that i have loved you ... at 1:28 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

` here.waiting ;

'watchin:you.go;

|YaNtEeN|

|S0phiA|

^reminds;me*of

Like how the sun is always there
Even when it has sunk down
It's a dream I can't let go
Fantasies starts to flow
Certainty is definitely here
I remain standing in the midst of parting way
And the shadow gently fades away
Flowers sway in the wind as if dancing
While remain completely buried by that kind smile
And echos along with that friendly voice
Because we're together, we're able to believe in each other
Still without remembering “sadness”, I begin to grasp “pain”
When these feelings reach you, they will change into “words”
The pulse that beats quickly catches my breath
Keep trying to break free for that blue, blue sky
Awaken from a dream in an unknown world ..

that'.last>note

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