Saturday, March 24, 2012
Radiance
To that day when we each went our separate ways,
what kind of excuses should I use,
and how should I explain that?
Every time when I sense my unconcealable weakness
and blindly stumble,
I'd always press hard against my body
this entity, "YOU", from that day.
Resolutely taking a vow on my future,
firmly believing in YOUR powerful eyes,
I journeyed through the sky, where solitude and freedom are equivalent.
I simply do not want to turn back.
If you think once more about it, we were very much alike,
whether in our contrived words,
or in our departing figures pretending to be strong.
Because of that, we must both
have had a lot of suppressed thoughts for each other,
but yet, we weren't strong enough to
be able to voice our anxieties honestly.
In the narrow space between dreams and wishes,
I only keep getting buried deeper wondering to myself.
If YOU are here with me now,
would you let me see my reflection in your smiling eyes?
We may become stained and tainted,
and we may be flushed away,
but this is for sure not a mistake,
and I'll believe so again and again.
If I can reach my boundless ideals
and the world I've been sketching,
then there everything will surely be rewarded
with YOUR unchanged radiance.
At some point in my wandering journey,
I was injured by broken shards of regret,
but the answer that I have been looking for is now right here,
tightly gripped in your small hand all this time...
what kind of excuses should I use,
and how should I explain that?
Every time when I sense my unconcealable weakness
and blindly stumble,
I'd always press hard against my body
this entity, "YOU", from that day.
Resolutely taking a vow on my future,
firmly believing in YOUR powerful eyes,
I journeyed through the sky, where solitude and freedom are equivalent.
I simply do not want to turn back.
If you think once more about it, we were very much alike,
whether in our contrived words,
or in our departing figures pretending to be strong.
Because of that, we must both
have had a lot of suppressed thoughts for each other,
but yet, we weren't strong enough to
be able to voice our anxieties honestly.
In the narrow space between dreams and wishes,
I only keep getting buried deeper wondering to myself.
If YOU are here with me now,
would you let me see my reflection in your smiling eyes?
We may become stained and tainted,
and we may be flushed away,
but this is for sure not a mistake,
and I'll believe so again and again.
If I can reach my boundless ideals
and the world I've been sketching,
then there everything will surely be rewarded
with YOUR unchanged radiance.
At some point in my wandering journey,
I was injured by broken shards of regret,
but the answer that I have been looking for is now right here,
tightly gripped in your small hand all this time...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:16 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
The Forest You Were
In the deep thick forest, there is a faint fragrance that is very dear
When I try to find the faces of the passing days, you laugh suddenly
When I reach out my hand to touch it, I feel like I'm dancing in the faraway space
I've always wanted to see you and am thinking of you always
Crossing the sleepless nights
While I cry, I try to embrace what's left of you in the midst of light and shadow
Hopelessly, I walk barefoot in the scorching sunset
While stepping on the ruins of a love that fades crimson
When I hold out my hand to touch it, I hear your voice
Right now the words "I love you" won't reach as the wind carries away my song
It disappears far far away
If I throw a clock of sand in the high skies, I hear the sounds of that day resounding
Scenery that I can't touch again
Fades away slowly
"Don't disappear," that hand and that hair, in the rapidly enlarging atmosphere and heavy memories
The light and shadow that you left is just too large
In the deep thick forest�c
When I try to find the faces of the passing days, you laugh suddenly
When I reach out my hand to touch it, I feel like I'm dancing in the faraway space
I've always wanted to see you and am thinking of you always
Crossing the sleepless nights
While I cry, I try to embrace what's left of you in the midst of light and shadow
Hopelessly, I walk barefoot in the scorching sunset
While stepping on the ruins of a love that fades crimson
When I hold out my hand to touch it, I hear your voice
Right now the words "I love you" won't reach as the wind carries away my song
It disappears far far away
If I throw a clock of sand in the high skies, I hear the sounds of that day resounding
Scenery that I can't touch again
Fades away slowly
"Don't disappear," that hand and that hair, in the rapidly enlarging atmosphere and heavy memories
The light and shadow that you left is just too large
In the deep thick forest�c
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:14 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
A Tomorrow With YOU
It was no coincidence that we met
For it's a destiny decided since long ago.
Whenever I close my eyes, whenever I look up at the sky,
Memories of those mirage-like days come back to life.
The end of the path grows further away with each step,
But I will keep on walking just like this.
I don't want to forget you completely without a trace
Not your gentle and kind words, nor those eyes that I loved.
May I go on believing that we would meet once again?
For that's the only way to stop the tears from flowing.
It was no coincidence that we met
For it's a destiny unchanged since long ago.
With all my heart, I wish I could laugh with you once more.
Even if it's a dream that'll never come true.
I can see a tomorrow belonging to you and me
And you see it too, don't you? For it has always been so.
I'll guard you without fail, because I have promised to.
I want to be at your side in times of sorrow too.
It was no coincidence that we met
For it's a destiny I see in dreams, since long ago.
For it's a destiny decided since long ago.
Whenever I close my eyes, whenever I look up at the sky,
Memories of those mirage-like days come back to life.
The end of the path grows further away with each step,
But I will keep on walking just like this.
I don't want to forget you completely without a trace
Not your gentle and kind words, nor those eyes that I loved.
May I go on believing that we would meet once again?
For that's the only way to stop the tears from flowing.
It was no coincidence that we met
For it's a destiny unchanged since long ago.
With all my heart, I wish I could laugh with you once more.
Even if it's a dream that'll never come true.
I can see a tomorrow belonging to you and me
And you see it too, don't you? For it has always been so.
I'll guard you without fail, because I have promised to.
I want to be at your side in times of sorrow too.
It was no coincidence that we met
For it's a destiny I see in dreams, since long ago.
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:12 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Blue Sky
You say if you could fly, you would never come back
You aimed for that blue, blue sky
You've yet to remember "sadness"
Just now began to grasp "pain"
Even the feelings I held onto for you
Are just now changing into words
As you awaken from the dream of an unknown world
Spread your wings and take off
You say if you could fly, you would never come back
You aimed for those white, white clouds
If you break through, you know you'll find it
So try until you break free to that blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
With a sound like all civility was gone
The rusted, old window broke
Look, you're so sick of looking at that cage that you're throwing it away
Without ever looking back again
That throbbing beat takes your breath away
And you kick open that window and take off
You said if you could run, you would obtain it
You're tempted by that distant, distant voice
It grasps your far too dazzling hand
Until you pursue that blue, blue sky
I understand that you are falling
But still, continue to follow the light
You say if you could fly, you would never come back
You searched for those white, white clouds
If you break through, you know you'll find it
So try until you break free to that blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
You aimed for that blue, blue sky
You've yet to remember "sadness"
Just now began to grasp "pain"
Even the feelings I held onto for you
Are just now changing into words
As you awaken from the dream of an unknown world
Spread your wings and take off
You say if you could fly, you would never come back
You aimed for those white, white clouds
If you break through, you know you'll find it
So try until you break free to that blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
With a sound like all civility was gone
The rusted, old window broke
Look, you're so sick of looking at that cage that you're throwing it away
Without ever looking back again
That throbbing beat takes your breath away
And you kick open that window and take off
You said if you could run, you would obtain it
You're tempted by that distant, distant voice
It grasps your far too dazzling hand
Until you pursue that blue, blue sky
I understand that you are falling
But still, continue to follow the light
You say if you could fly, you would never come back
You searched for those white, white clouds
If you break through, you know you'll find it
So try until you break free to that blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
That blue, blue sky
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:03 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, March 23, 2012
Out Of Reach
Have you ever felt you don't belong anywhere in this world? That you shouldn't be born and have lost your purpose to live? I'm outta reach in this world. The world seems like such a distorted place to be in. Where is it that i belong? I don't wanna be part of this distortion which we humans created. The natural instinct to survive made us into an animal. Even an animal wouldn't kill their kind. I'm clouded in darkness, and i don't wish to be save no more.
I pity mankind whom seems to be in the endless campaign for victory and survival. They destroyed forest, kill and tampered the earth for resources but in the end, they're only committing a slow suicide. I don't want to be part of the system god created. Why were we created? What is our purpose? Everyday i wish i could just fade away. Every moment i am trying to bury my sorrow and presence in this distorted world. What purpose do i serve now?
Do you believe in love and faith? Or maybe even destiny and fate? Humans are way too lonely to survive alone that's why they look for someone to be with them. I'm human too but i'm seeking another way out. To be forgotten, to numb myself, to hurt myself more and more every single day so i can attain the real meaning of suffering. Somehow, i want to be alone yet my natural instinct tells me i need someone there with me. Someone whom understands. There is no such person whom is capable. Afterall, i was born alone and meant to be alone and die alone. There is no need to cause anyone any misery.
The sorrow, the pain, the misery, the sadness and all the sufferings, i will bear all. There is no need for pity because that is the only way to grow strong and the only way to fulfill life. Cast all upon me, throw them all to me. Let me have the courage to end it all. Let the fire purify me and when my ashes are together as one as the wind, i pray that no one needs to suffer again. No one else need to feel those feelings again. Every minute, i am living in an unknown place where people around are smiling and happy but i can't seems to comprehend why i can't be like them. What is happiness? Does it really exist in my world? The beautiful red splattered on the only shelter in my dream world. The rain of blood, the tears of blood and the darkness. The cold and loneliness in that world, i want to close that door. I'm tired of this endless struggle to break free. I rather be in that world and shut myself in.
Is dying a release? Yes it is. But before that, you must endure all hardship, pain, misery, sadness and sorrow the world can offer you. You must be covered in countless scars and wounds before you can qualify to leave this world. I love blood, every second i bleed. I wish i could bleed and bleed. Let tears of blood roll down from my eyes. Let everything end.
I'm tired, i'm outta reach. Is this destiny? It must be. Praying my time will come soon...
I pity mankind whom seems to be in the endless campaign for victory and survival. They destroyed forest, kill and tampered the earth for resources but in the end, they're only committing a slow suicide. I don't want to be part of the system god created. Why were we created? What is our purpose? Everyday i wish i could just fade away. Every moment i am trying to bury my sorrow and presence in this distorted world. What purpose do i serve now?
Do you believe in love and faith? Or maybe even destiny and fate? Humans are way too lonely to survive alone that's why they look for someone to be with them. I'm human too but i'm seeking another way out. To be forgotten, to numb myself, to hurt myself more and more every single day so i can attain the real meaning of suffering. Somehow, i want to be alone yet my natural instinct tells me i need someone there with me. Someone whom understands. There is no such person whom is capable. Afterall, i was born alone and meant to be alone and die alone. There is no need to cause anyone any misery.
The sorrow, the pain, the misery, the sadness and all the sufferings, i will bear all. There is no need for pity because that is the only way to grow strong and the only way to fulfill life. Cast all upon me, throw them all to me. Let me have the courage to end it all. Let the fire purify me and when my ashes are together as one as the wind, i pray that no one needs to suffer again. No one else need to feel those feelings again. Every minute, i am living in an unknown place where people around are smiling and happy but i can't seems to comprehend why i can't be like them. What is happiness? Does it really exist in my world? The beautiful red splattered on the only shelter in my dream world. The rain of blood, the tears of blood and the darkness. The cold and loneliness in that world, i want to close that door. I'm tired of this endless struggle to break free. I rather be in that world and shut myself in.
Is dying a release? Yes it is. But before that, you must endure all hardship, pain, misery, sadness and sorrow the world can offer you. You must be covered in countless scars and wounds before you can qualify to leave this world. I love blood, every second i bleed. I wish i could bleed and bleed. Let tears of blood roll down from my eyes. Let everything end.
I'm tired, i'm outta reach. Is this destiny? It must be. Praying my time will come soon...
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:04 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, March 03, 2012
Dark
The skies has been dark these days. I am now gazing upon the sky with tears whelming up. Nobody said it would be this painful or hurt to try to forget someone. I'm really weird. I wish for others happiness but none for myself. I wonder why and what am i? The reason i should exist. Why am i always standing alone in the darkest places, feeling ever so lonely, watching smiles and being envious of them.
2 days ago, it was the 39th month. I managed to control myself not to text or disturb her happy life. Doomed to be forgotten, meant to be lost, i've no longer any reason to be alive or to smile. Would a bolt of lighting strike down to me please? I can't care so much, i can't care too much. Every day is a torture to me. Every hour is painful and every moment is misery. What is my purpose now?
I've always try hard to work towards helping, caring and loving people in need and those whom are really deserving. I wish i could help everyone but i realize i helped no one at all. It's pathetic. There is nothing i could do. My life is wasted. Therefore, i would give my life away... To those i care for. Being in the dark is already a voluntary instinct for me. I'm tired... Let me go, wandering in the darkness in this never ending road of devastation...
2 days ago, it was the 39th month. I managed to control myself not to text or disturb her happy life. Doomed to be forgotten, meant to be lost, i've no longer any reason to be alive or to smile. Would a bolt of lighting strike down to me please? I can't care so much, i can't care too much. Every day is a torture to me. Every hour is painful and every moment is misery. What is my purpose now?
I've always try hard to work towards helping, caring and loving people in need and those whom are really deserving. I wish i could help everyone but i realize i helped no one at all. It's pathetic. There is nothing i could do. My life is wasted. Therefore, i would give my life away... To those i care for. Being in the dark is already a voluntary instinct for me. I'm tired... Let me go, wandering in the darkness in this never ending road of devastation...
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:45 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
