Wednesday, October 29, 2008
ReAS0N
For the longest time, i've been searching for a reason to exist. A reason to believe in. Someone to love and care for the way i do. But it seems everything is nothing but lies. I dont need a reason to exist anymore. Cuz now i believe there is no need for my existance. Therefore, i no longer need anyone or anything anymore. We aged, we break down and we cry. Then we forget and memories fades. Its just the way human do and how we survived. I'm tired. I will break this chain of torment! For someone who hasnt have a reason to live, it seems so small with every steps i take or every breath i breathe. The sun will always rise again when it sets. Never complaining not to come out to give the shine to the world. The world turns warmly when the sun rise. I wanna be the moon. Shinning through the darkest hours of life. Being there is a bonus but not being there, the world will still be the same. My live no longer matters to me. My friends, if 1day u want my live, take it away from me. I'm ready. To fulfill and not fight against fate. To be here without a reason. To be left alone in this world... Its a reason that will never fade with time...
i know that i have loved you ... at 7:07 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, October 27, 2008
SoNGs iN tHe HeArt
Soledad
It's A Keeping For The Lonely
Since The Day That You Were Gone
Why Did You Leave Me
Soledad
In My Heart You Were The Only
And Your Memory Lives On
Why Did You Leave Me
Soledad
Even though, we said goodbye,
Quite some time ago
There's a strength, of love in my heart
That just can't let you go
It seems like even when i go to see
Images of you my mind still keeps
And I still see you in my dreams
No matter how I try it seems,
That a deep part of me, just can't forget
That a big part of me, still has regrets
And I can't seem to let,
All the love I had for you go
Yes I still see you in my dreams
Sometimes, I wait with your face in my mind
Somehow, I thought that I left those memories behind
It's seems that you have left my heart frusturated
With vivid memories your smile created
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see
the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/f1 ]
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on..
It's A Keeping For The Lonely
Since The Day That You Were Gone
Why Did You Leave Me
Soledad
In My Heart You Were The Only
And Your Memory Lives On
Why Did You Leave Me
Soledad
Even though, we said goodbye,
Quite some time ago
There's a strength, of love in my heart
That just can't let you go
It seems like even when i go to see
Images of you my mind still keeps
And I still see you in my dreams
No matter how I try it seems,
That a deep part of me, just can't forget
That a big part of me, still has regrets
And I can't seem to let,
All the love I had for you go
Yes I still see you in my dreams
Sometimes, I wait with your face in my mind
Somehow, I thought that I left those memories behind
It's seems that you have left my heart frusturated
With vivid memories your smile created
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see
the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/f1 ]
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on..
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:57 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, October 24, 2008
EveRy HeaRt
Everyday, i go on and on with life.
Every heart beyond the skies know their belonging.
My soul lost in time with the memories of tears.
Trying to find a distant stars from above as my guide.
Desperately searching for an answer to the past.
The darker the world is, the brighter loves shine.
Crying is just a major part of defenses.
Time heals and bring th future close to us.
Still the puzzle of my heart seems incomplete.
If tomorrow i have to leave, depart from this tainted world.
Would a tear be shed with love?
There is so much to do before my eyes are closed
Promised me that you would forget those times.
Cause as long as you remember, a part of us will be together.
Beyond the horizan, the sun sets.
Leaving the ones behind cold and forgotten.
Memories starts drifting away, close your eyes.
All i'm left now is fading. A ghost....
Every heart beyond the skies know their belonging.
My soul lost in time with the memories of tears.
Trying to find a distant stars from above as my guide.
Desperately searching for an answer to the past.
The darker the world is, the brighter loves shine.
Crying is just a major part of defenses.
Time heals and bring th future close to us.
Still the puzzle of my heart seems incomplete.
If tomorrow i have to leave, depart from this tainted world.
Would a tear be shed with love?
There is so much to do before my eyes are closed
Promised me that you would forget those times.
Cause as long as you remember, a part of us will be together.
Beyond the horizan, the sun sets.
Leaving the ones behind cold and forgotten.
Memories starts drifting away, close your eyes.
All i'm left now is fading. A ghost....
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:46 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
PaRt 0f mE
Life can be simple.It can be complicated and confusing. No matter how our life is, it still goes on. Thats for sure. When we love or is being love, a part of us just doesnt feel like ourself anymore. When we depart, we leave a part of us in the memories of our friends and family and the love ones. Therefore, i find it diffcult to forget. Difficult to let go. When u love and said u love someone, it is for real? So why does the love changes overnight? Everynight, my soul seems to leave my body wandering into emptyness. Things that people who were once important or rather still important to me said, i still remember. I still feel the presence around me. Huanted by memories and tears, the world keeps getting darker and darker. I wonder how life could be if i've never putted in my heart in silly things which i know i can't afford to lose. But its precisely that u can't afford to lose, thats why u will put in everything u've got. The higher we climb, the harder we fall. I'm a complex person. Many things overwhelm my mind. The memories torture my falling soul. Whatever it is, a part of me will always be with someone else. Everyone i suppose? When the end is near, i would just give it everything i've left rather then giving it up. Though i know i will be hurted, but i simply care less. I'm now standing of the former self like a shadow. Watching everytime the knifes of ruthless bandits stabbing my body. My body can no longer feel but the shadow follows. I'm broken hearted. But somehow my body began to feel pain. Cuz it can hardly bear the interior pain. UNbreak my heart? UNcry these tears? UNdo these hurts? I cant go on anymore...
There's always something left behind...
And that something will always be me...
There's always something left behind...
And that something will always be me...
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:16 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, October 18, 2008
LisTeN t0 y0uR hEaRt
Listen to your heart is one of my favourite song. Its sad and the tone is nice. When i'm sad, i'll always listen to it. It moves me. However, do i still have a heart to feel or to listen to? You built a love, that love falls apart, the little piece of heaven turns too dark. Well, am i in heaven which is too dark or am i in hell? Sometimes i wonder who i really am. How am i really feeling. Every smile seems to be a tear behind it. I dont wish to say goodbye to my memories. Cause it makes me stronger. But deep inside its hurting. I may not be the person i seems. Wearing a mask to hide my sorrow. The feeling of belonging to someone dreams is all i wanted. i'm really very very tired. Goodbye and farewell. It comes and goes. Theres so much to mention but i cant find the words. Deep insdie i'm crying like a small child. Deep inside the tears had never stopped. The pain seems so unbearable. However, in order to grow strong, its necessary. Its just part of life isnt it? What am i doing till now? Wasting my life away? Killing the sense of self. Just to feeling belonging to something or someone. Where is the source of courage and faith i had? Its because i've experienced too much which makes people tell me their problems and i could guide them? I cant and am not as strong as them. I cant say i love you and forget them. Behind my smiles, would anyone ever think the tears behind it? Its the only way i can hide my misery and sorrow. But nowadays, i just couldnt help it anymore. My tears seems so overwhelming that it actually started flowing out from my eyes. I wish i could just cry outside but i cant. I gonna be strong. I'm here for people and its my existance. I need someone to hug and cry. Hear my story, listen to my heart. Let me scream, let me cry. Bring me to another new world where i can find peace. Unlock this chains of misery from me. Set me free from everything. Wipe my heart off these bloodstains. Clear my mind of these twisted ideations. Give me a live to live. Give me someone who bless me. Things simply hurts.
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:47 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Br0keN voWs
Tell me her name I want to know
The way she looks and where you go
I need to see her face, I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end
Tell me again I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night when I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why?
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never she'd
Give me the chance, that one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time?
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why?
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
I close my eyes
And dream of you and I and then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul to hold you once again
And never this let this moment end
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Now that I know, I'm asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
The way she looks and where you go
I need to see her face, I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end
Tell me again I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night when I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why?
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never she'd
Give me the chance, that one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time?
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why?
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
I close my eyes
And dream of you and I and then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul to hold you once again
And never this let this moment end
I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Now that I know, I'm asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I've found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow
i know that i have loved you ... at 12:12 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Ab0uT mE
About me. Things are complicated. About me, time is running out. Cherish every moment we have before someone special is gone long. About me, life is depressing. Its sometimes tiring and really sad. Why lead a life this way? Why can i forgive but not forget? I'm in pain. Indulge in these sweet words of poison and dying from this toxic of love. Promises are nothing but just lies. The care and concern are just something so small that are being invisible to me. Cuz everytime, the pain will be manify 100times. The feeling bottled up bit by bit, day by day. My chest so tight. I can hardly breathe. I used to have a good friend. She's my senior in work but however a caring and sweet girl. She doted me and i in turn took care and was there for her. But things changed. Time flies and we aged. She aint there anymore. Lying in the arms of another, i saw the shadow of myself being there. I wish i could be there for her but i cant. The person could no longer be me. I'm no longer needed. Tired. Being needed by someone is the happiest thing in my life. Becuz i feel my existance. When i'm needed, even if its just for a moment, i feel happy. To be able to live again. Remember, wherever u go my friend, i'm here. Always here at the same place. Many of my ex have found boyfriend, i'm happy for them. At least there'll be someone carrying the umbralla for them and they don't have to be alone anymore.
Lonely, Hatred, Unwanted, Trash, Depressed, Sad, Hopeless, Waiting, Despair, Gone, Torn ..... Pain
Lonely, Hatred, Unwanted, Trash, Depressed, Sad, Hopeless, Waiting, Despair, Gone, Torn ..... Pain
i know that i have loved you ... at 12:12 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, October 06, 2008
BriDgE
The path to the future. The bridge to the other world which doesnt seems to exist is always around us. Somehow i wanna open this door. Bringing all the precious moment away to the other world. No ones needs a future. The beauty of life is tainted with the gushing blood. It pains the sky of my love red. Is it why the heart is red? Cuz its bleeding? When the tears of blood starts to flow and the rain starts to shower, i'll start to cross the bridge to the other world. To experience true despair. To feel how much evil we've all done. I just wanna lick the blood flowing deep in my veins. Tear the organs inside apart and stab every part of the body. Somewhere which is worst than hell is where i belong. Set me free from my body. Take my lost soul some place where i truly belong. I do not need anyone or anything. Color my world again. With fresh blood and let the overwhelming darkness slips through my lonely nights. I believe the bridge is still there and will never cease to exist. Take care tormented soul....
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:43 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
