Sunday, February 27, 2011

My EmOtioNS

It's over and done
But the heartache lives on inside...
And who's the one you're clinging to
Instead of me tonight...

And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go, go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You'll never see me fall apart

In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotions
Taking me over
I'm Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight?
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight

I'm there at your side,
I'm part of all the things you are
But you've got a part of someone else
You've got to find your shining star

Its just emotions taking me over....

i know that i have loved you ... at 11:57 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Friday, February 25, 2011

ThE LiEs

This is goodbye my love. I know you'll be happy. I know you'll live happily ever after. The lies i told will never be erased. I miss your smile, i miss your touch. I love you but i no longer could hold you. I'm looking forward, bracing to a future without you. I know you'll always be happy. I know i know... The lies i told can never be erased. The future we hold is so fragile. I'm longing for a tomorrow. A brand new tomorrow where i can see your smile once again. I know you'll be there. The brand new you, with a happy smile. I know what i did is worth that's all. I'm just a passer by in your life. I may just be a weed in the fields of flowers. But still i grew up sharing the hope you had in life. The future holds no longer for me but i know you'll be able to look forward. I know you'll be smiling at the end. It's just me, going to the end earlier. I won't cry anymore. I won't cry again. You're my strength left, the reason why i'm still here. Embracing a future which holds no will, searching for the you with no memories. I know these lies won't hurt. I know you'll be there in the end. I know and i cherished. I have to brace myself forward. To a future where i know you'll smile, together with the one with the beautiful red rose. My lies will never be lost, the heart will never be felt. I know you can be happy. Fly away with the lies i've created. Soar upon and i know someday, i can see you smile again... With love, my lies...

010109 MY STORY

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:12 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You're my jewel....

Hey, do you remember? The two of us met
Time goes by, it's the same scent as the seasons
You're just like a light
You're my jewel
You started to smile at me

In the times we joked together, we also quarreled
I don't understand what love may be.

Yes, do you remember? You finally noticed me
Jewel in my heart
This feeling when I'm facing you

* If you gaze at me
It doesn't matter how I can probably express
I want to know those smiles, no matter how many
If I lose my way, if I'm bound
I'll overcome those times
Dreams come true
Every single day, you're an eternal glimmer

No, I can't forget you, there is no substitute
Dear my jewel, friends are like family

Dropping in on a cold morning, my white breath
Believes in the thoughts I express

So, I can't forget you, it's a bit mysterious
Jewel in love, love is flowing

The unknown amount of time seems to wrap the two of us
Carrying an unlimited number of events
The gentle spring, dazzling summer, lonely autumn, winter, too
You who make me a promise
I'll sleep by your side

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:07 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Am i still the one?...

I don't get much from hero
I don't give them much thought
I crumble on the crashing
May you still around
I don't like my reflection
I don't like what i see
I'm scared of my shadow
You cast this doubt on me
But am I still the one?
Am I still the one?
Am I still the one?

I was still there in the shadow
Just to understand your pain
But when I need it
Till them rush to left in the other way
I wanted to have comfort
The moment when we have begun
I love you though you love to listen I'm still the one

You call me through the windows
You call them through the floor
You sent these flyers to find me
Now they're kicking down my door
Am I still the one?
Am I still the one?
Am I still the one?

I was still there in the shadow
Just to understand your pain
But when I need it
Till them rush to left in the other way
There's something I've got emptiness all be settled down
I know you wanna me to be with
I'm still the one

So now would you leave angel?
You got me all the wrong

Tell me that you'll never leave me again,
Now you're sorry
Tell me that you'll never leave me again,
Now you're sorry
Tell me that you'll never leave me again,
Tell me that you'll never leave me again,
Sorry
Tell me that you'll never leave me again,
'all these lovers'
Sorry
Tell me that you'll never leave me again,
'all these lovers'

i know that i have loved you ... at 9:13 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I'll take your tears...

Don't speak, seal your lips.
Please don't say a word, maybe I won't remember the words I have not heard.
I see that you're in love, I know it's not with me.
But I don't want the truth to haunt my memory.

It's never too late to relight the fire
It's never stopped burning for me.
The flame, it never died inside of me.

How is it now that I can tell you I love you
How is it only now that it's too late.
What can I do?
The love that we had is torn in two.
So you take the smiles from all of our years.
I'll take the tears.

I sit and reminisce of times that we once shared.
You gave me more than love. But never thought I cared.
My feelings were all for you.
Although it didn't show.
I only told you on the day you let me to go.

Now I realize that you're no longer mine.
But I'm hoping that the pain will ease in time.
Although you're leaving, I won't say goodbye.
Because I know you're here with me inside.

i know that i have loved you ... at 9:37 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Monday, February 21, 2011

Ghost of you & me...

I miss you Nana... Just hope u can be happy. Crying yet again now... It's okay. Jia you niang niang & nana! Though we're not together anymore, our hearts are always linked. I believe.... Save my heart someday, save whats left of me somehow...

What am I supposed to do
With all these blues
Haunting me, everywhere, no matter what I do
Watching the candle flicker out in the evening glow
I cant let go
When will this night be over

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Seen a lot of broken hearts go sailing by
Phantom ships, lost at sea
And one of them is mine
Raising my glass, I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me

I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

The ghost of you and me
When will it set me free
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left of my heart and soul

Keeping you deep in my heart...
010109

i know that i have loved you ... at 11:59 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Friday, February 18, 2011

Hope you're happy WINA

I can speak about the pain you know
What you say you didn't see
I can show you all my scars you know
The ones I keep inside of me

Would that make it easier
Or would it be the same

Sorry that I could not be
As perfect as you wanted me
Just wondering what's going on in your mind
I sure hope you're fine
I hope your conscience is clear
Hope you're happy

I can tell about the times you know
When I wished to leave this world
I can read to you the letters I wrote
All the words you say you've never heard

Sorry that I could not be
As perfect as you wanted me

Just wondering what's going on in your mind
I sure hope you're fine
I hope your conscience is clear
Hope you're happy

Sorry that I could not be
As perfect as you wanted me
Just wondering what's going on in your mind
I sure hope you're fine
I hope your conscience is clear
Hope you're happy

i know that i have loved you ... at 6:48 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

ShAdows oF LovE

The fingers of the promise,
Our red thread,
I can't see it now
Even if there aren't promises, either

Don't leave my hand
If it's the truth, it will be sad
Like this

Trust in me
Even if we come apart
My memories won't erase our bond
Will you trust in me
Maybe you can see the star I draw with my fingertip

Without deviating my eyes
I'll start saying
that you, reflecting in my eyes,
Are the one

I only believe that I can overcome
Even this dangerous world
With you

Trust in me
In the dawns visiting
Our different skies
Will you trust in me
Maybe inside our dreams
We can meet everytime

Trust in me
Even if we come apart
The memories won't erase the bond
Will you trust in me
Maybe you can see the star I draw with my fingertip

i know that i have loved you ... at 1:58 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Little PAIN

Travel to the moon
You're asleep, as you work out your dreams
There's no one here
While the light of the stars toys with me

In order to become strong
I have to remember how to smile
If we're together, I can do it

* Realize that...
I'm here waiting for you
Even if the future is different from now
I'm here waiting for you
I keep on shouting
I'm sure all I have to do
Is pull in the thread that connects our hearts
So the person I was back then
Would open her eyes
No need to cry

Travel in silence
I can reach you if I stretch out my hands
The only memory I have of you
Is so far away

I can hear your voice
If I close my eyes
Even a little pain
Would be nice

Look at me
I'm here waiting for you
Even if you get lost, blown away by the wind
I'm here waiting for you
I look up at the sky
I was protecting my heart
With outstretched hands
Until the person you were back then
Looked back
No need to cry

(Feel something, feel nothing
Listen closely, listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me where it's quiet
Listen closely, listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

No need to cry.... No need to cry....

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:35 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Sunday, February 13, 2011

OuR LovE sT0rY

Through the flood of crowded people
I keep looking at his silhouette
It was possible to play around with fate, to embrace you closely would be a miracle
It may be painful, it might hurt
Now we can only believe

Though struggles are depicted in this love story,
And tomorrow spells out invisibly
I won't hesitate to be with you,
I won't be lonely anymore

Your voice remains in my ear
I remember your shape in my closed eyelids
I'm tired of feeling the pain you gave
Your smile and gentle words echo in my heart
I want to forget this

Though struggles are depicted in this love story,
You can finish without starting again
If our hearts stay locked
We won't realize our love

Once you reveal your feelings
I won't need anything else
Honestly, I cried like a child
While wide awake in your hands

Though struggles are depicted in this love story,
It makes me want to hear to your voice again
I won't hesitate to reach for you even if you're far away

………
And tomorrow spells out invisibly
I won't hesitate to be with you,
If someday the two of us, could honestly be together happily
I'll hold onto you tightly

i know that i have loved you ... at 3:24 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Friday, February 11, 2011

ThE M0oM

I'm looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There's a chill within the air
It makes my heart long for your touch
You may be miles away
But as I kneel to pray

I see the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space
Can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all my tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon.

I picture you across the oceans
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change

It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space
Can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all my tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

Missing you....

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:09 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

WIND - NA

You're just like the gentle wind that brushes upon my cheeks. smoothing my heart, calming my soul. Erasing all the uncertainties in my heart. You're just like an angel from heaven, gracing me with your love, blessing me with your presence. You're my world, the one and only wind. You bring the stormy clouds above my skies and makes my worries wild. Your violent wind destroyed the future housing my hopes. Your merciless wind torn the hearts of many. Many left homeless yet 1 left broken. You're my angel my wind. The wind that decides the fate of my world, the live of my soul. You're someone whom i can never live without. For you're the wind that brings me courage. You're the wind that blew the storms away. You're my love, my wind... Wina....

i know that i have loved you ... at 7:47 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Thursday, February 10, 2011

LovE St0rY

i know that i have loved you ... at 9:05 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

tHe EnD

The end, it's such a scary place to start. Everything is torn apart. Don't know where to go from here. In the end, there's no reason to pretend. I know you won't be back again. But it's not over till its over, every ending is a new beginning. One more chance to get it right, one more chance to get it wrong. I know you won't be back again, so i pray to the stars everyday. I know you're there not far. I'll be sure to guide the the stars. Sometimes nowhere leads to somewhere. And it'll all starts again. Never giving you up till the end... I love you WINA...

i know that i have loved you ... at 8:41 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

MisSinG y0u

I've tried to close my eyes in vain. There's no escape for my sorrow, melody is killing me again. Tell me why, what is hurting so deep inside. Tell me why why why? Cause its killing me like no other. Do you remember what you said to me, i know i've trusted you. You came along and break my heart, you trample my heart and what should i do? Everywhere i go, everything i do, you seems so alive. Being right beside me. It's never too late to relight the fire cause it never stop burning for me. How is it now that i could tell you, i love you. How is it that now that its too late. What can i do, the love we had is torn into two, so you'll take the smile, from all of our years, i'll take the tears... Are we still under the same sky wish for the same ending? Will you be there for me at the very end? The skies filled with stars. On the grass patch we lay, touching our hearts once more. I love you Wina...

i know that i have loved you ... at 11:04 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

ListEn t0 y0uR HeARt

Nana, how have you been? Been crying since the day you went away. I'm tired of life, tired of acting. I have to put on a mask to everyone else. I have to smile and remain calm in front of people. I have to laugh even if i say a joke which is not funny. What am i becoming? I want to stay home and just rot away. Somehow, i know you'll forget me soon. My heart is shattered Nana. But do u even care? Everywhere i go, it seems so real that we were just there yesterday. Even moment with you i remembered dearly. Every kiss we made i still feel your lips on mine. I can no longer be myself. I'm torn. No matter how much i plead, how much i love you, you're never going to come back. But i'll never give you up. I'll wait for you. I'll wait for you Nana for you're my only love... Crying while typing. I bet you've done the same in the past. I miss you... I miss you dearly... It hurts now, badly...

i know that i have loved you ... at 8:06 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Monday, February 07, 2011

My BloG, mY LIfE

Dearest blog, i've lots of things to write. But i'll keep it short. Most of the stuffs are in KINE. Its been quite some time since i last hear from you. I miss your voice. I miss u. Whenever i think of you, tears just whelm up my eyes. I wish i could see u again. I wish u're the 1st person i see when i wakes up. I love you dearly. Even though i know we can never be together again, but still, i love you. Even though u no longer care about me, even though u may not love me, or may even forget me, but still i long for u. I can no longer call myself someone. I've become a monster blinded by love. I never knew i would be hurt so deeply. I wonder what had happened to me. Am i no longer myself anymore? All i want is to be with you nana. Nana and Niang Niang, together forever....

Missing you... Been crying since the day u went away....

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:55 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

In My DreAms

Even though, we said goodbye,
Quite some time ago
There's a strength, of love in my heart
That just can't let you go
It seems like even when i go to see
Images of you my mind still keeps

And I still see you in my dreams
No matter how I try it seems,
That a deep part of me, just can't forget
That a big part of me, still has regrets
And I can't seem to let,
All the love I had for you go
Yes I still see you in my dreams

Sometimes, I wait with your face in my mind
Somehow, I thought that I left those memories behind
It's seems that you have left my heart frustrated
With vivid memories your smile created

And I still see you in my dreams
No matter how I try it seems
That a deep part of me, just can't forget
That a big part of me, still has regrets
And I can't seem to let,
All the love I had, for you go
I still see you in my dreams
Yes, I still see you in my dreams

Nana, i'm missing you. I'll keep my thoughts and feelings safe in kine...

i know that i have loved you ... at 7:57 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Saturday, February 05, 2011

You Don't Know...

Nobody knows me
Yet everyone knows my name
Some people judge me
Not knowing that I'm the same

Thanks for the offer
But I keep my old friends, always
But then I get lonely
Counting the endless days

Are you here for me at all?
Do you care for me at all?
Well this time now I know
I ain't standing alone no more

Cos all I want is love
Someone who can share the pain I feel
And the eyes that stare
Won't stare at me no more
Cos all I need is time
Time for me to open up and show
The person I am
[You Don't Know lyrics on http://www.elyricsworld.com]

The person you think you know
You don't know
You don't know

Some heartfelt emotion
Creeping from deep inside
Cos being this person
Is all I've got left to hide

Are you here for me at all?
Did you care for me at all?
Last time I was told
I ain't standing alone no more

All I need is love
Someone who can share the pain I feel
And the eyes that stare
Won't stare at me no more
And all I need is time
Time for me to open up and show
The person I am
The person you don't know
You don't know
You don't know

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:33 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

NanA & NiAnG NIAnG

I'm tired. I looked into the mirror and saw a monster. The dark circles around my eyes. The big eye bags and my puffy eyes from crying. Our story has finally comes to an end. Why is there no such thing as happily ever after? I no longer have any words to describe how i feel. The torment and betrayal i felt i hope was just a fantasy. I no longer have the will to live. How i hope i could die this instant. But before that, before i die, i want to help the needy. donate my organs to them and give them a new life. I want to see their smile just like i longed for yours. You're my only love for 2years. Who might have know i'm stupid enough to be hurt twice by the same thing, Both times i beg for your return. But this time round, you're no longer coming back ain't you? I've so much i want to say, but i know it's meaningless now. Your love for me has faded. I'll keep my promise and remain faithful. Till you find a new boyfriend, i will stay single. Nana, the story of only nana and only niang niang has begun. You've never left me even for a moment because you're here inside my heart. I'll be writing in kine2.

3days till my blog becomes locked....

With love and sorrow...

i know that i have loved you ... at 6:58 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

tHE EnD... fAReWeLL....

There is no need to pretend. Its all over now. She left. Whats left for me is hatred towards her, myself and the world. I'm sad. There's so many things i wish i could tell her but i cant. Whenever she hurt me unknowingly, all i can do is to bear with the pain. Yes i am being insensitive. But why? You felt for another guy and i forgive u. All the while we were together, you compared. What am i to you? Some product to compare and bargain with? I'm really sad and tired. I need blood. All the more i should bleed and drink from it. I feel like i'm so emotionally unstable. How can i curb it? I no longer need anyone with me. She's with another guy smiling happily. I should be happy for her aint i? Its okay. I've come to realize the flaws in me. I could cry in front of you. I wept more than you could imagine deep inside. Whenever, i hurt you, it really hurts me as well. Whenever i need you, you never came. Deep down i'm screaming but can you hear me? I love you... That's why i know i have to let you go. Be happy and smile. My heart is dead... The 2years we spent, i hope you can retain some good things we shared.

Farewell, wina my love...

i know that i have loved you ... at 8:30 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Why...

To get my happiness I had done everything,
But had done nothing to be blamed and accused of.
The sound of footsteps became louder every day,
Then I noticed the fact there was not time.

I was a believer in life to be myself always,
And was asking whether I would be alive.

Give me a reason why not to adopt in this way,
Or judge me to be guilty of so many incurable sins.
Tell me why, or why not. Complaining way too much,
Maybe I overlooked something fatal for me.

The whole world was at a complete standstill,
And I was in fetters, at the mercy of the mob.
The silent warning became louder every day,
Then I kept pretending not to hear.

The meaning had been in the eyes of the beholder all along.
It had grown dark before I found a sign.

"Among the nonsense tragedies, what on earth you are looking for?
You only have to be honest to yourself and your own fate."
Tell me why, or why not. Complaining way too much,
Maybe I overlooked something fatal for me.

There is nobody who knows there will be nobody.
Except for me, all the world has gone mad.

So what is forgiveness you are willing to withhold?
What is the well-being you are willing to make?
Now what? So what? Don't you come interrupt me, oh please, while I am interrupting myself.

i know that i have loved you ... at 4:01 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities