Thursday, November 21, 2013
Right Time
I've been broken but it seems some pieces of myself are missing. I thought i could do it with determination. I thought i could carry on without having to look back but isn't what we went through make us who and what we are now? Yes, i'm broken. Deep down inside, it was always hurting. I thought i could somehow escape when i found someone whom i can genuinely care for and the person would do the same for me but it turns out to be untrue and unreal. I'm tired.
I've recently been reviewing books for my exams and found out that i'm having signs of severe depression. Not does it matters anyway. All i need is self help. I guess time will tell? I've spoken to a good friend whom is married and always cheerful whom i know online in a game. She told me time will heal everything and indeed it will, leaving a scar behind. Little that one knows i could never been properly healed. I care too much, my feelings linger and i always know too many things which my partner would never know. Meeting the same person at the right time is important. Today and a few years later could make drastic differences. I guess i've not been matured enough to meet the right person at the right time and i was too kind to give in. I'm tired. I really wish to escape from this harsh reality. Everyday, i would think of an accident which i could die in. Every time i cross the road, i wish the vehicle would knock me down and end it. I wish i could slit my wrist and soak my body in a pool of water and dye the water red. I wish i could have terminal stage cancer which would give me a limited time to face and decide what and how i should lead my life. All these are on fantasies. It ain't happening... WHY?
Life was never fair and never just. I wish i was never born so i would not have sinned. I'm tired of this world. Death, may you come swiftly. I've been waiting... for the right time...
I've recently been reviewing books for my exams and found out that i'm having signs of severe depression. Not does it matters anyway. All i need is self help. I guess time will tell? I've spoken to a good friend whom is married and always cheerful whom i know online in a game. She told me time will heal everything and indeed it will, leaving a scar behind. Little that one knows i could never been properly healed. I care too much, my feelings linger and i always know too many things which my partner would never know. Meeting the same person at the right time is important. Today and a few years later could make drastic differences. I guess i've not been matured enough to meet the right person at the right time and i was too kind to give in. I'm tired. I really wish to escape from this harsh reality. Everyday, i would think of an accident which i could die in. Every time i cross the road, i wish the vehicle would knock me down and end it. I wish i could slit my wrist and soak my body in a pool of water and dye the water red. I wish i could have terminal stage cancer which would give me a limited time to face and decide what and how i should lead my life. All these are on fantasies. It ain't happening... WHY?
Life was never fair and never just. I wish i was never born so i would not have sinned. I'm tired of this world. Death, may you come swiftly. I've been waiting... for the right time...
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:59 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
