Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Bitter
I guess, no one can imagine or feel how painful it is. To be thrown away like worn clothes, to be discarded. Is this the destiny of a tool? I've always believed that we are capable to change our destiny with our own hands but i guess i must be dreaming. You want me and here i am and now you don't want me and off i go.
These feelings, i can never describe in words. To be thrown away, to be left alone, bleeding. There were no reasons, just excuses. There were no explanations just illusions. For how long have i forgotten this feeling of desolation? A year? 2 perhaps? How could i give in and trusted a random stranger totally? Everything was by your command. Your wish, i could never defy, your love, i could never taste. It's a bitter sweet poison, i wish i would've just die from it. There is no return, little faith and a total condemn. Why have i done to deserve this? I keep asking myself for days, or what did i not do? Tell me!
When you wanted me, i was your angel. I was everything important, yet deep down, i want to believe it will last, forever. But now, i'm just an obstacle in your way, old, rusty and filthy. How do i make myself cease to exist? Tell me! You could NEVER understand these feelings but i know you will someday when retribution bites. Pass those feelings to me for i've taught myself to live with my dying heart. I will no longer long for a tomorrow nor yesterday. I want to be in this intense pain & torture. I want to be as dark as i possibly could. People always tells me that i'm too kind for my own good, too gentle and cared too much about others. If being kind, caring and gentle is a sin, then punish me further for them just like you are doing now. Kill me with your arms, stab me in the heart. Hear my dying breath and relief me for this harsh world.
May you find happiness and keep me in deep slumber. I will not forget the good but i will remember the bad. If my life is cursed, then curse me well with death. I will start to forget this feeling name 'love'. It is too late, there is no escape. It is time i stop my little senseless dreams and hope. It is time... i need to divert the pain by causing more pain. What should i do? I must keep my promises yet inflict more pain on myself. For you whom see me as trash, i must... i must... It's painful... I only wish that i...
It's bitter, it's bitter but bitter sweet... It's goodbye.
These feelings, i can never describe in words. To be thrown away, to be left alone, bleeding. There were no reasons, just excuses. There were no explanations just illusions. For how long have i forgotten this feeling of desolation? A year? 2 perhaps? How could i give in and trusted a random stranger totally? Everything was by your command. Your wish, i could never defy, your love, i could never taste. It's a bitter sweet poison, i wish i would've just die from it. There is no return, little faith and a total condemn. Why have i done to deserve this? I keep asking myself for days, or what did i not do? Tell me!
When you wanted me, i was your angel. I was everything important, yet deep down, i want to believe it will last, forever. But now, i'm just an obstacle in your way, old, rusty and filthy. How do i make myself cease to exist? Tell me! You could NEVER understand these feelings but i know you will someday when retribution bites. Pass those feelings to me for i've taught myself to live with my dying heart. I will no longer long for a tomorrow nor yesterday. I want to be in this intense pain & torture. I want to be as dark as i possibly could. People always tells me that i'm too kind for my own good, too gentle and cared too much about others. If being kind, caring and gentle is a sin, then punish me further for them just like you are doing now. Kill me with your arms, stab me in the heart. Hear my dying breath and relief me for this harsh world.
May you find happiness and keep me in deep slumber. I will not forget the good but i will remember the bad. If my life is cursed, then curse me well with death. I will start to forget this feeling name 'love'. It is too late, there is no escape. It is time i stop my little senseless dreams and hope. It is time... i need to divert the pain by causing more pain. What should i do? I must keep my promises yet inflict more pain on myself. For you whom see me as trash, i must... i must... It's painful... I only wish that i...
It's bitter, it's bitter but bitter sweet... It's goodbye.
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:28 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
