Sunday, July 29, 2012
Taken
Have you ever detest the world and the people around you so much so that you wish the person disappearing is you but not them? Everyone came to this world with nothing. Their 1st cry echos and, there, a new life has begun. We're all kind at first. No one knows how to kill, how to bully nor how to hurt someone. It's through what was taught in the family, the environment and the experiences that shape us to who we are.
I've always been shy and worried to express myself. My fears, it's not easy to overcome them. Even when asking for price or going to a shop just to window shop, it would really takes courage for me to step in and ask. The way i am around people, i'm quiet and always observing those around me. I keep a constant look out for people close to me and people with signs of despair like myself whom are too afraid of asking for help. I'm a pessimistic individual. Perhaps so much so that many can't take it. I might seem carefree, but i'm always deep in thought. Thinking about someone or something. Once i've decided that something or someone is important, i will always remember them. It's easy to forgive and often difficult to forget. Everyday, i'm trying to force a smile. These memories, even from years back, i still remember them. But what's the point when i'm the only one that cherish them? I'm always feeling insecure and inferior. Perhaps its the brought up. Is it too late to change now? I need a make over, i need a confidence boost.
Do you believe in treating people the way you want to be treated? Some people do, many others don't. They believe that others should treat them the way they want before they return their feelings or actions. If we're always waiting for others to take the 1st step, how long will it takes? Looking back, i'm really tired. I've always, without fail, time after time, giving it my best for others, even to strangers. Some might find it weird but i guess this is the 1st step for human to develop good relationship. I've starting for build up walls. I stop texting people, i stop conversing with people and now i'm gonna totally shut myself.
Taking people for granted, i guess everyone did. Many have said that they've never taken me for granted. My care and concern, even my company seem to be so cheap when it's readily available. I'm always a call away and if i don't pick up the call, some are angry, few are concern. People tend to care about what they want, what they want to hear and have. Have sparing a thought for others become something so difficult? Nobody truly knows who i am inside. Nobody knows me yet everyone knows my name. Some people judge me not knowing that i'm the same. Being myself is all that is left to hide. I'm starting to protect myself. In actual fact, i know i can't stop caring. But i've gonna try. Don't pick up any calls, don't text, reply shorter and don't give a damn about what others ask or what. I guess, it's time to build up my defenses. Those who say i've changed have no idea they're causing the change by saying 'no' they didn't take me for granted. This is an obvious evidence that they've always been taking me for granted, knowing i would be there for them, console them and care for them. I've always been keeping my woes and worries to myself because there is no one in this world whom i can truly call friend. It's use or being use, which do you prefer?
Taken for granted, betrayed, insulted, despaired, hatred, back-stabbed, misunderstood, compensating, forgiving, I'm tired. I'm shutting down...
I've always been shy and worried to express myself. My fears, it's not easy to overcome them. Even when asking for price or going to a shop just to window shop, it would really takes courage for me to step in and ask. The way i am around people, i'm quiet and always observing those around me. I keep a constant look out for people close to me and people with signs of despair like myself whom are too afraid of asking for help. I'm a pessimistic individual. Perhaps so much so that many can't take it. I might seem carefree, but i'm always deep in thought. Thinking about someone or something. Once i've decided that something or someone is important, i will always remember them. It's easy to forgive and often difficult to forget. Everyday, i'm trying to force a smile. These memories, even from years back, i still remember them. But what's the point when i'm the only one that cherish them? I'm always feeling insecure and inferior. Perhaps its the brought up. Is it too late to change now? I need a make over, i need a confidence boost.
Do you believe in treating people the way you want to be treated? Some people do, many others don't. They believe that others should treat them the way they want before they return their feelings or actions. If we're always waiting for others to take the 1st step, how long will it takes? Looking back, i'm really tired. I've always, without fail, time after time, giving it my best for others, even to strangers. Some might find it weird but i guess this is the 1st step for human to develop good relationship. I've starting for build up walls. I stop texting people, i stop conversing with people and now i'm gonna totally shut myself.
Taking people for granted, i guess everyone did. Many have said that they've never taken me for granted. My care and concern, even my company seem to be so cheap when it's readily available. I'm always a call away and if i don't pick up the call, some are angry, few are concern. People tend to care about what they want, what they want to hear and have. Have sparing a thought for others become something so difficult? Nobody truly knows who i am inside. Nobody knows me yet everyone knows my name. Some people judge me not knowing that i'm the same. Being myself is all that is left to hide. I'm starting to protect myself. In actual fact, i know i can't stop caring. But i've gonna try. Don't pick up any calls, don't text, reply shorter and don't give a damn about what others ask or what. I guess, it's time to build up my defenses. Those who say i've changed have no idea they're causing the change by saying 'no' they didn't take me for granted. This is an obvious evidence that they've always been taking me for granted, knowing i would be there for them, console them and care for them. I've always been keeping my woes and worries to myself because there is no one in this world whom i can truly call friend. It's use or being use, which do you prefer?
Taken for granted, betrayed, insulted, despaired, hatred, back-stabbed, misunderstood, compensating, forgiving, I'm tired. I'm shutting down...
i know that i have loved you ... at 11:28 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
