Friday, June 29, 2012
Perhaps
I've just received the promotion letter today. I'm happy yet sad. I wish i could have someone whom i can celebrate with, someone to share this piece of news with. But, being a loner, do i really need anyone? Perhaps? I've thought of giving her a text, but i didn't. What good would it be to text her when i'm not even sure if my message would hurt her or irritates her? Perhaps, maybe, what if... All these keep coming into my mind. I've been avoiding her ever since. I've been trying my best to keep my sorrow at bay. The urge to text and see her, the things i do, places i went, it reminded me of her. Perhaps, there is a better solution? Perhaps, there is a better cure of this misery and sorrow? Or perhaps, a miracle will happen?
It's coming to the end of June! Next month will be her birthday. I'm starting to think of how to celebrate for her, the birthday wishes and presents. Should i or should i not? Is it better not to text her or will once do? What's the best cause for her? Slowly but surely, i'm being forgotten. She once told me that there is no one who is replaceable but it seems unlikely. When you befriend a new person, you'll generally talk more to him/her and forget the one whom braved through the thick and thin with you. You'll prepare presents for the new friends but not the old ones. Your concern is much lesser. Or in another case, a new lover. Somehow, you have to let go of the old to get the new. Is this what it is?
HBD!! I was planning to send her that on her birthday. But will she be able to understand? It's so unlike me. Why do i have to go through such length to change myself into someone i'm not? Every moment, i spend thinking of her, she might be thinking of someone else. HBD, happy birthday. I try to make it short to avoid contact. Is this the best i can do??
I often ask myself, is this the best i can do for her. The answer is always no. I could do better and more for her. But will she appreciates it or just ask you to scram after she found someone better? I'm proud to tell people i've tried my best for her but i failed miserably.
A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush. Perhaps, many can't see that. Perhaps, she can't see nor feel it. I dare not use forever anymore because there is nothing that last forever. But, always... I'll be there for you. I'm just a call away...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:30 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
