Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Ain't Any Better
Dear blog,
I thought i am already better. I though i've already recovered but somehow i know i am only cheating on myself. There're a thousand feelings i felt but i can't explain. So much so that i wish it isn't real and i didn't exist. I shouldn't hide from problems and woes but it keeps haunting me. It's painful, miserable and sad.
What is the meaning of life now that what matters to you the most has gone and betrayed you? Why would i cherish my owner when i knew i was just a toy? This feeling of loneliness, have i gotten used to it? I no longer need anyone by my side. I wish i could go back to the old me, the one that is innocent and i could just live in my own world.
Ain't any better, i ain't any better but i am moving on. People are leaving and memories are fading. The promises we shared are just illusions created when you're curious about a new toy. Nobody would hold you dear close, so far none. I do not wish for anything else anymore. No longer am i lingering for love or care. I just wanna be useful to my owner. To be use and to serve my purpose.
I'm tired. Wishing everyday would be my last. Let me sleep now, let me sleep for eternity. And so as i prayed, happiness to those whom have used me. I won't deny others of their happiness just because i am suffering. I'm tired... Sorry...
I thought i am already better. I though i've already recovered but somehow i know i am only cheating on myself. There're a thousand feelings i felt but i can't explain. So much so that i wish it isn't real and i didn't exist. I shouldn't hide from problems and woes but it keeps haunting me. It's painful, miserable and sad.
What is the meaning of life now that what matters to you the most has gone and betrayed you? Why would i cherish my owner when i knew i was just a toy? This feeling of loneliness, have i gotten used to it? I no longer need anyone by my side. I wish i could go back to the old me, the one that is innocent and i could just live in my own world.
Ain't any better, i ain't any better but i am moving on. People are leaving and memories are fading. The promises we shared are just illusions created when you're curious about a new toy. Nobody would hold you dear close, so far none. I do not wish for anything else anymore. No longer am i lingering for love or care. I just wanna be useful to my owner. To be use and to serve my purpose.
I'm tired. Wishing everyday would be my last. Let me sleep now, let me sleep for eternity. And so as i prayed, happiness to those whom have used me. I won't deny others of their happiness just because i am suffering. I'm tired... Sorry...
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:53 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Monday, February 20, 2012
Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise
I just know we can't be over,
I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong
I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
I just know we can't be over,
I can see it in your eyes
Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
Making every kind of silence, it takes a lot to realize
It's worse to finish than to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won't fall, even if you said I wrong
I know that I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my, just myself
Just myself, myself, just myself
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:03 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Precious
If we see each other's faces, we always fight.
That's a good memory too.
You taught me that; I'm not afraid anymore.
No matter what kind of impairment I may have, I can grasp happiness. That's why...
Even if I'm alone, I'll go, even if it's difficult.
I'll definitely bring the dream I had with you.
I'm glad it was with you, and nobody else.
But when I woke up in the morning, you weren't there.
I was always playing; that's the feeling I got.
That was just a feeling I got, that was it, I know.
I don't regret that I was born anymore.
Like the end of a festival, it's lonely, but we've got to go pretty soon.
I'll go anywhere with the things I learned here.
I'll show you that I can make the dream called happiness come true.
Even if I'm separated from you, no matter how far away we go.
I'm going to live in a new morning.
Even if I'm alone, I'll go, even if I want to die.
I can hear your voice, saying I shouldn't die.
Even if it's difficult, even if I cry from loneliness
I can feel warmth from deep inside my heart.
Going round-and-round and flowing, time is ever-changing.
I can't remember what happened anymore, but
If I try and close my eyes, I can hear someone's laughing voice
For some reason, now, that is My Most Precious Treasure.
That's a good memory too.
You taught me that; I'm not afraid anymore.
No matter what kind of impairment I may have, I can grasp happiness. That's why...
Even if I'm alone, I'll go, even if it's difficult.
I'll definitely bring the dream I had with you.
I'm glad it was with you, and nobody else.
But when I woke up in the morning, you weren't there.
I was always playing; that's the feeling I got.
That was just a feeling I got, that was it, I know.
I don't regret that I was born anymore.
Like the end of a festival, it's lonely, but we've got to go pretty soon.
I'll go anywhere with the things I learned here.
I'll show you that I can make the dream called happiness come true.
Even if I'm separated from you, no matter how far away we go.
I'm going to live in a new morning.
Even if I'm alone, I'll go, even if I want to die.
I can hear your voice, saying I shouldn't die.
Even if it's difficult, even if I cry from loneliness
I can feel warmth from deep inside my heart.
Going round-and-round and flowing, time is ever-changing.
I can't remember what happened anymore, but
If I try and close my eyes, I can hear someone's laughing voice
For some reason, now, that is My Most Precious Treasure.
i know that i have loved you ... at 9:22 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Friday, February 10, 2012
Story Sorry
It was his last day. Who might have thought of it this way that life would come to an end so soon for someone so young. He stretched out his feeble hand, reaching out to the distant moon. He draw his last breath and whisper softly to the people around him, "Thank You" he said with a gentle smile he left the world.
It was always his dream, his goal to find release. He hated this world, finding feelings redundant and lives unfulfilling. Often, he would look at people around him, thinking of the future without them, thinking of the non existence of humanity. He loved too much, he loved everything that was to him. He never wanted to hurt another and was always hiding his feelings. Those were unnecessary to him. Because no one understood. He trust too much and ended up being toyed with. He hated himself, he hated the world. He hope for an end to the place he is living, the the people who waste the life of another and to those whom hurt and done wrong. But who is he to judge? He would rather give up his live than to see his "friends" being killed. To him, it's to use or being used but he choose to be used. It's cruel but it's a fact. The world doesn't care.
It was 2 years ago when he started feeling unwell. He was hoping to die all the time but somehow the gods didn't answer to him as he predicted till that very day. His mind and mental is torturing him everyday. Everyday, without fail, he wish he could die. His lovers come and go by him one by one. His friends used him day after day and abandoned him. He felt no love. There was no love.
Blood. His first thoughts was will i be finally allow to die? After a year, he went to the hospital to confirm what he had hoped for. It was true. Cancer, and his live was in danger. It was the final stage. He was happy, really happy to be able to die knowing how much time he had left. He spent his time writing a book for each and every of the people he deem important. There was no right or wrong, no black or white to him anymore. To someone whom have given up living, this was the best and happiest moments he had.
I guess i will continue the story again - Hope my live will come to an end soon...
It was always his dream, his goal to find release. He hated this world, finding feelings redundant and lives unfulfilling. Often, he would look at people around him, thinking of the future without them, thinking of the non existence of humanity. He loved too much, he loved everything that was to him. He never wanted to hurt another and was always hiding his feelings. Those were unnecessary to him. Because no one understood. He trust too much and ended up being toyed with. He hated himself, he hated the world. He hope for an end to the place he is living, the the people who waste the life of another and to those whom hurt and done wrong. But who is he to judge? He would rather give up his live than to see his "friends" being killed. To him, it's to use or being used but he choose to be used. It's cruel but it's a fact. The world doesn't care.
It was 2 years ago when he started feeling unwell. He was hoping to die all the time but somehow the gods didn't answer to him as he predicted till that very day. His mind and mental is torturing him everyday. Everyday, without fail, he wish he could die. His lovers come and go by him one by one. His friends used him day after day and abandoned him. He felt no love. There was no love.
Blood. His first thoughts was will i be finally allow to die? After a year, he went to the hospital to confirm what he had hoped for. It was true. Cancer, and his live was in danger. It was the final stage. He was happy, really happy to be able to die knowing how much time he had left. He spent his time writing a book for each and every of the people he deem important. There was no right or wrong, no black or white to him anymore. To someone whom have given up living, this was the best and happiest moments he had.
I guess i will continue the story again - Hope my live will come to an end soon...
i know that i have loved you ... at 8:52 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Love Me
I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.
We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said,
"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me."
I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears
"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me."
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.
We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said,
"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me."
I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears
"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me."
i know that i have loved you ... at 6:01 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Incomplete....
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you, within me I can find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
but You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I don't mean to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go..........
Incomplete....
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you, within me I can find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
but You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I don't mean to drag it on
But I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go..........
Incomplete....
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:55 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
