Friday, November 04, 2011
World
If someone were to ask you to describe the world you would envisioned yours to be, how would you reply? How and what does your world looks like? Is it full of colors? Are there important people in it? What makes you complete in that world and why would you want that world for yourself? I supposed everyone's preferences would be different yet similar. I too, want to experience the warm colors and happiness in the world everybody painted but i can't. Why why why? I keep asking myself! Yet there is no reason and no answer.
My world, closing my eyes now, thinking of what comes to my mind, it's grey, a wasteland with no trace of life. The wind is blowing ever so strongly and the sky is dark with thunder clouds. It looks like there's a storm brewing. I'm standing in the middle, struck by the beautiful lightning, a thousand blades piercing through my heart. Blood are drained from every part of my body and when i search for my heart, i couldn't find one. Darkness just whelm up within me, the sorrow, the misery, the sadness, hatred, pain and everything bad seems like the only way i know how to live. I fell like i was born to accept and take all these from others so i gladly accept them. It's the only way to nurture myself, the final path for me.
I love blood. If i could stab myself everyday, somehow, i think i would feel better. Maybe once i get used to it, the pain will stop. I need no painkillers and nobody to be there for me. what i longed for has passed the point of no return. There is nobody that will understand. The door to my world stays hidden and forbidden to even the closest one around me. My heart wept silently everyday, and every moment when i am awake. That's why i know there is no future, no peace for me. Tired....
My world, closing my eyes now, thinking of what comes to my mind, it's grey, a wasteland with no trace of life. The wind is blowing ever so strongly and the sky is dark with thunder clouds. It looks like there's a storm brewing. I'm standing in the middle, struck by the beautiful lightning, a thousand blades piercing through my heart. Blood are drained from every part of my body and when i search for my heart, i couldn't find one. Darkness just whelm up within me, the sorrow, the misery, the sadness, hatred, pain and everything bad seems like the only way i know how to live. I fell like i was born to accept and take all these from others so i gladly accept them. It's the only way to nurture myself, the final path for me.
I love blood. If i could stab myself everyday, somehow, i think i would feel better. Maybe once i get used to it, the pain will stop. I need no painkillers and nobody to be there for me. what i longed for has passed the point of no return. There is nobody that will understand. The door to my world stays hidden and forbidden to even the closest one around me. My heart wept silently everyday, and every moment when i am awake. That's why i know there is no future, no peace for me. Tired....
i know that i have loved you ... at 10:58 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
