Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Silent Night

It's a silent night. There's no mood, nobody shouting and no cats screaming. My life seems like a fluke. I wonder why this is happening. If you truly love me, if you truly love me... Maybe everything might have changed. I'm really tired and depressed. I spent every weekend at home hiding from the memories i sought to not think about. I wan neither to remember nor to forget. I'm moving on with my life with a heavy burden with me inside. I don't have much time left here. I don't know where my journey goes or how long it will takes. But i know, as long as you're there, it's like a star shining in the dark. You're the very beat of my heart. 2 more days to the supposedly 30th months. Do you still remember? I'm tired... Somehow, i wish u would be here. The last person i see before i close my eyes eternally would be you...

My vision's fading...

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:48 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Down down down

Feeling down down and down recently. I feel so drained of strength and energy. Feeling so tired and worn out, sad and lonely all the time. What is happening? I'm doing my best not to think about it too much. I know nothing will change but i hope everything i lost will be faded in time. I'm at my brim, trying to fight off every sorrow. Was i too nice to be taken advantage of, or am i too silly to understand? I choose to trust everyone because i want the best for them but.... I'm just tired. When will this misery finally end? Will the cycle repeats itself again? Save me from this sadness and despair! Please brush aside all the darkness in my heart. I want to feel warm again... I'm sorry.... I hope everything will come to an end soon...

i know that i have loved you ... at 1:44 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Saturday, June 25, 2011

旅行的意義

你看過了許多美景你看過了許多美女
你迷失在地圖上每一道短暫的光陰
你品壑F夜的的巴黎你踏過下雪的北京
你熟記書本裡每一句你最愛的真理

卻說不出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出在什麼場合我曾讓你動心
說不出離開的原因

你累計了許多飛行你用心挑選紀念品
你搜集了地圖上每一次的風和日麗
你擁抱熱情的島嶼你埋葬記憶的土耳其
你流連電影裡美麗的不真實的場景

卻說不出你愛我的原因
卻說不出你欣賞我哪一種表情
卻說不出什麼場合我曾讓分心
說不出旅行的意義

勉強說出你為我寄出的每封信
都是你離開的原因你離開我就是旅行的意義

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:51 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Monday, June 20, 2011

Randomness

The rain stops i thought the sun's coming
I heard a voice and you're crying
Let the rain fall and the storm roar
I don't wanna be alone
I wish i was dreaming
Cause all the while i was believing
All those flashbacks, we were liked that
Now you just leave me all alone
You are my memory, that i want to forget
But i will regret it, because you're a part of myself
Baby why can't you see
You're everything i need
Search down your heart in it
You're one in a million
Even though my friends warn me against
You've been cheating on me
But i choose to trust thee
And i ended up with my soul broken
So... Baby come back to me
See all the damage you did
Fix it back all for me
Everything i want to say
Every word i couldn't say
I wish you would feel it dear
I'm so lost so lost...

End...

i know that i have loved you ... at 11:08 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Saturday, June 18, 2011

All the love

I'm not looking for someone to talk to
I've got my friend, I'm more than O.K.
I've got more than a girl could wish for
I live my dreams but it's not all they say
Still I believe I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

I've often wondered if love's an illusion
Just to get you through the loneliest days
I can't criticize it
I have no hestitaion
My imagination just stole me away
Still I believe
I'm missing something real
I need someone who really sees me...

Don't wanna wake up alone anymore
Still believing you'll walk through my door
All I need is to know it's for sure
Then I'll give... all the love in the world

Love's for a lifetime not for a moment
So how could I throw it away
Yeah I'm only human
And nights grow colder
With no-one to love me that way
Yeah I need someone who really sees me...

i know that i have loved you ... at 9:46 am
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Thursday, June 16, 2011

No Promises

Hey baby, when we are together
Doing things that we love
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven
Feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl
I just need you to know, girl

I don't wanna run away
Baby, you're the one I need tonight
No promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight
I just wanna die in your arms here tonight

Hey baby, when we are together
Doing things that we love
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven
Feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl
I just need you to know, girl

I don't wanna run away
Baby, you're the one I need tonight
No promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight
I just wanna die in your arms

I don't wanna run away
I want to stay forever through time and time
No promises

i know that i have loved you ... at 7:53 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Monday, June 13, 2011

The best i ever had

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely

Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring

What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

i know that i have loved you ... at 8:43 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Dreams

Am i still in my dreams? Longing for someone or something that can never happens? Looking back to the distance past like it never existed. Forgotten by all and left behind, the misery and pain. Is it a test or was it part of life we all have to go through? I'm empty now. I no longer have dreams but nightmares. I'm tired of my everyday. I'm looking up to the sky everyday but there are not stars. The red sky with tons of clouds. It looks like it could be raining any moment. I detest fate si i'm always fighting it. Or rather, i'm changing my destiny.

I woke up worried and scared. Was the dreams i had real? It was too scary. Was it wishing for such things? Why wouldn't it happens on me. When i see my love ones, my friends being sad, i wish i could just give god my lifespan and ask him to make them happy. I don't need a long life but a good one. I supposed the time she gave me was good enough. I couldn't ask for more anymore. No matter what happens from now on, i will be myself. No longer must i act.

I'm feeling restless and my friends all said i looked worn out, tired and depressed. Well, am i an open book? Or maybe some may not even know i existed. That's why my blog address is ever existed. I wish that i ever existed and so i can carve some memories to the people i cherished. I'm bracing myself towards death.

I'm giving up on her now. Cause i gonna let go for her to be happy. A new beginning means she have to leave her past behind. I will gladly cry my heat out to be the rain that washes away all the bad memories. That's the least i can do for her...

In my dreams, even when i'm fast asleep, i still can hear your voice. A deep part of me just can't forget and a big part of me still have regrets. But you don't seem to know all the love i've shared and so i'll go... Someday i'll see you in my dreams...

i know that i have loved you ... at 10:25 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

Friday, June 03, 2011

Light and Darkness

Looking out my my window. It's kinda bright. Everywhere around, there's light and it's somehow beautiful yet a little lonely. There isn't a single soul there and as the night creep in, everything looks like in a state of loss. Somehow or rather, i miss the old world where there was little light and the stars shone brightly in the sky. The feeling it gave was different. There would be a different kind of shadow being cast upon us. Moonlight shadow, the faith is disappearing and the sun is setting. There is no end to the world and our soul rest eternity. Between light and darkness, i would rather choose darkness so there would be light. I want to be the one that would be dead and used till the end and no one knows. I would die of misery yet fulfillment because i would be able to help others. My shoulder is acting up again... Sorry.. The end for today.

i know that i have loved you ... at 8:24 pm
fate crumbled all around 0 identities